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[–]Haylstorm 3 insightful - 1 fun3 insightful - 0 fun4 insightful - 1 fun -  (8 children)

Yeah it's often filler conversation. Like "terrible weather isn't it?".

I was mostly thinking of the online crowd which seems to care far too much in some cases.

[–]bucetao6969Ace Spectrum 3 insightful - 2 fun3 insightful - 1 fun4 insightful - 2 fun -  (7 children)

Only asexual reddit.

"How dare my romantic partners want to have sex with me????" I tried arguing most people are sexual and we are not the normality but they wouldn't have it.

[–]Haylstorm 3 insightful - 1 fun3 insightful - 0 fun4 insightful - 1 fun -  (6 children)

I'll admit Reddit really confuses me there where you have asexual, aromantic people looking at opening their relationship. Like Excuse me do you know what those words mean?

How they can be surprised that humans are sexual is just wild. It's built in to most people.

[–]bucetao6969Ace Spectrum 2 insightful - 1 fun2 insightful - 0 fun3 insightful - 1 fun -  (5 children)

How they can be surprised that humans are sexual is just wild. It's built in to most people.

No, they know but they don't accept it. It's like trans woman wanting straight men magically being attracted to them. It's why I just suggest them to do A&A like I suggest trans people doing T&T, you better keep to your own people

I'll admit Reddit really confuses me there where you have asexual, aromantic people looking at opening their relationship. Like Excuse me do you know what those words mean?

Being an aromantic individual, it's easy explaining this. You are in a relationship but you don't love the other person. If you marry it could also be a sort of "roleplay", where you experience what loving-having people experience in a roleplay way.

Though I'm aromantic, the comfort of being in a relationship with someone is still nice and a relationship has better financial security so I completely understand aromantics marrying.

Here's the thing though. Asexual means different things to different people. Even the most asexual people that feel no horny and have no sex at all, can still have sex eg when they want to have children. There's also the asexuals who take the meaning of the word that feel no horny but still have sex because they enjoy it which would technically make them asexual. It's why I prefer to say I'm on the asexual spectrum (as for my flair) because I can't bring myself to fully commit to the asexual title as I only fit into parts of it instead of the whole thing. I'm def aromantic though.

Oh this is why there's also the "true asexuals" reddit. Apparently if you're aromantic that feel horny and have sex, even though you're part of the community, they don't welcome you. The community is as bad as you think it is.

[–]LyingSpirit472 3 insightful - 1 fun3 insightful - 0 fun4 insightful - 1 fun -  (4 children)

Here's the thing though. Asexual means different things to different people. Even the most asexual people that feel no horny and have no sex at all, can still have sex eg when they want to have children. There's also the asexuals who take the meaning of the word that feel no horny but still have sex because they enjoy it which would technically make them asexual. It's why I prefer to say I'm on the asexual spectrum (as for my flair) because I can't bring myself to fully commit to the asexual title as I only fit into parts of it instead of the whole thing. I'm def aromantic though.

But that's also the same problem; if it's a spectrum, that just leads to the "I'm a vegan, I love steak. We exist" problem with it. People can respect "I'm not interested in sex or romance" as perfectly fine, and if anything it's the people saying "I am asexual, even though I have sex, I love sex, I seek out sex, and honestly, I'm one of those stereotype characters from Fatal Fury who hump lampposts if they can't find a partner- but I'm still totally asexual, so let me be part of the cool kids' club!" who are oppressing asexuals more than anything.

[–]bucetao6969Ace Spectrum 2 insightful - 1 fun2 insightful - 0 fun3 insightful - 1 fun -  (2 children)

To add onto my other comment.

When I say I'm on the spectrum, I don't commit. Just like I'm saying I'm not asexual out of respect for other asexuals, someone saying they are "pursuing vegan lifestyle" instead of saying they are vegan is of respect to other vegans.

The only ones who get it wrong is the trans community. They say if you're trans if you're 100% trans, but they also say to label yourself as trans as part of the trans umbrella, instead of telling you to say you are part of the trans umbrella. Then you get stuff like non-binary people calling themselves trans when they aren't trans (in OUR sense of the word) but in their sense of the word it makes sense (when they should be calling themselves part of the "trans umbrella" or something).

[–]LyingSpirit472 1 insightful - 1 fun1 insightful - 0 fun2 insightful - 1 fun -  (1 child)

Honestly, you make a lot of great points about this. The best point as a building block to what my point was:

The problem comes when these people call themselves vegan, just ike in my asexual circle. Asexual is like queer and trans, it's a way for straight people to get opression points because they weren't born gay but they really do want those opression points.

This is what I had meant for the biggest oppressors. It's not the bad apples in a group (though they don't help), it's the people who are not in the group deciding they deserve to be part of the group. I'm not in any queer umbrella, but as a person with Asperger's I've seen this shit happen to us with autism spectrum disorders becoming trendy: People who aren't a member of the group traditionally in the least use the group as their excuse to be whiny, moody slackers, they make everyone who actually has it hug them and call them kin even while they make us all look like whiny, moody slackers like them, they systematically turn our actual mental disorder into their high school clique (in the process risking actual sufferers losing the rights they need to survive because...well, it's clearly nothing serious if all these people have no problems)- and then, when they've laid waste to it, kick the actual sufferers out because we're not cool and that makes them sad, and anything that makes them sad is oppressing them. The same shit's gone on in the trans community as the "truscum" get kicked out of the group for 'diagnosis privilege' while the 'tucutes' openly gloat it's their high school clique and take over- and it's the type of thing that needs to be struck against.

[–]bucetao6969Ace Spectrum 2 insightful - 1 fun2 insightful - 0 fun3 insightful - 1 fun -  (0 children)

Yeah, but that will only happen in the inside. I'm not part of the trans umbrella but I have women dear in my life so for me the less people that transition the better, I have no obligation to fight to secure transitions for certain kind of people that would be the responsability of the trans people movement. But if they let everyone transition leading to things such as transmaxxing that's a problem for me. So I will be against the side of trans people.

By the way, this is why things such as queer fundamentally don't work. Queer is part of LGBTQ+ but it's identity. People like Arielle Scarcella get it she doesn't call herself queer anymore because it doesn't work.

[–]bucetao6969Ace Spectrum 1 insightful - 1 fun1 insightful - 0 fun2 insightful - 1 fun -  (0 children)

But that's also the same problem; if it's a spectrum, that just leads to the "I'm a vegan, I love steak. We exist"

Your example is great because it proves my point. The church accepts homosexuals because being attracted to gay people is innate (and in their religion god made you that way) the problem they have is celebration of homosexuality. They also accept gays that have gay sex even if they admit "they can't control it" just like they accept cheating wives, it's the same.

I talked to vegans and they believe if you at least cut some of the meat you eat, even if not everything, that's still something. You're in the vegan circle, even if you're not a vegan yourself.

The problem comes when these people call themselves vegan, just ike in my asexual circle. Asexual is like queer and trans, it's a way for straight people to get opression points because they weren't born gay but they really do want those opression points.

but I'm still totally asexual, so let me be part of the cool kids' club!" who are oppressing asexuals more than anything.

Yeah you mean like the trans people who make the trans group look bad. Honestly? It's completely different. Asexual acceptance really doesn't matter in the grand scheme of things, so these bad apples don't matter, unlike the trans groups where trans people have to get rid of the bad apples but them actively choosing not to is taking away all their rights.

Yeah I get what you mean with these """asexuals""". Even if there are asexuals who have sex (because some people have different conceptions of asexualism), and why I say I'm part of the ace spectrum (like some people say they're part of the trans umbrella). And you have women who think they're demisexual when demisexual come close to default women behaviour even if they're not actually demisexual.

Honestly, it doesn't really matter. In the grand scheme of things the asexual label is still a good way for people to label themselves (I love labels it helps everyone). The asexual community preaches this, like in the case someone feeling they were asexual then later finding out they weren't asexual at all. And the women who call themselves demisexuals when they aren't. What matters is just understanding yourself and self-acceptance at the end of the day. It's why asexual advocacy groups are more about awareness than really acceptance or anything.