I don't mean to be disrespectful to your community, but I think if you asked 100 women to sleep with you, you wouldn't be celibate.

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[–]SMCAB 4 insightful - 1 fun4 insightful - 0 fun5 insightful - 1 fun -  (5 children)

I am currently dating. I have a collective of 123 messages sent, and 4 replies in 4 apps in a 2 weeks. I'm in shape, have never had a problem dating, I'm successful, and I act like an adult in a relationship. I'm the fucking catch here. And those are the hard numbers.

You're right, it's a numbers game, that's why I sent this. I will date them, I wil screw them, but it takes time and patience for a dude in this world. Every girl I talk to in public looks at me like I'm eating a cat. But I don't do bars either.

Advice! Surround yourself with a genuine partner, so you don't end up 44 with two kids in an environment where even being a top choice you get little to nothing.

I read the National average is 3 to 4 percent return on replies, no matter who you are.

Edit: You know, I feel bad, I didn't even realize where I was, I just replied. Ill leave it up becasue I don't delete anything, but sorry for my unawareness.

[–]Mazurro 1 insightful - 2 fun1 insightful - 1 fun2 insightful - 2 fun -  (4 children)

123 messages sent, and 4 replies in 4 apps in a 2 weeks

I admire your cope levels.

[–]SMCAB 1 insightful - 1 fun1 insightful - 0 fun2 insightful - 1 fun -  (3 children)

It just is what it is, I take comfort in the fact I don't have a choice and can't change it. Life's about expectations. When you have none it raises your confidence and lowers your disappointment.

[–]Mazurro 2 insightful - 1 fun2 insightful - 0 fun3 insightful - 1 fun -  (2 children)

Life's about expectations

Almost my point with a little difference. Life is about hope. You might have no expectations whatsoever but you live with this hope that something with very little possibility will happen. This false hope was destroying me for years - once I lost it my anxiety disappeared. My confidence never got any better, but I don't feel sadness over something that cannot happen.

[–]SMCAB 1 insightful - 1 fun1 insightful - 0 fun2 insightful - 1 fun -  (1 child)

Yeah I get that. I kind of meant like, if you have no expectations, it can garner a go for broke attitude, like just saying "fuck it". Not necessarily confidence, but yeah I get it.

Hope and faith aren't in my vocabulary. I used to be in ridiculously harmful negative thought patterns about this stuff. I used to see women as a bag of holes, nothing more, and I had good reason, the ones I knew and met were bags of holes, it's that simple. But, there are good women out there, they may be fewer and farther between than they would like to admit, and I believe they are, but they do exist. For me it was changing what I was attracted to. That helped a lot.

[–]Mazurro 1 insightful - 1 fun1 insightful - 0 fun2 insightful - 1 fun -  (0 children)

Hope and faith aren't in my vocabulary. I used to be in ridiculously harmful negative thought patterns about this stuff. I used to see women as a bag of holes, nothing more, and I had good reason, the ones I knew and met were bags of holes, it's that simple. But, there are good women out there, they may be fewer and farther between than they would like to admit, and I believe they are, but they do exist. For me it was changing what I was attracted to. That helped a lot.

Then I reached all steps you mention, with addition of one, the last one. I found out that "those good women out there" are good only did Chads and they are exactly the same towards me. The behaviour of people isn't determined by their inner behaviour, rather by me and how I look.

Also, even if such women would exist (I don't believe it anyway) then they are taken.