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[–]Destresse 4 insightful - 1 fun4 insightful - 0 fun5 insightful - 1 fun -  (2 children)

Like some others said, what you've described raises some red flags. It isn't very surprising she had a lot to work on before feeling like she'd be a good partner.

I have never done that, but I have realised after something like five minutes of conversation with a woman on tinder that I'm absolutely not ready for what it entails. Yet, I feel extremely lonely, and horny I have to admit, and I've been a virgin for way too long, and I have never even kissed anyone, and time runs its course and the older I get the more pathetic and desperate I feel. So yeah, sometimes I put all my issues aside, and I try to date. The urge is real, so yes, sometimes we make bad decisions and then we backpedal. If anyone shares deep trauma with you, you should brace yourself for "wait, actually, I don't think I can...", because that'll be the end result for roughly 80% of us lol.

With trauma and addiction issues, you can never know. It can vary a lot from people to people. Maybe she's worried she's not good enough for you, and maybe if you chased her she'd cave and it'd actually be good for her. Or maybe she's scared, and that means you should absolutely keep your distance, and if you still haven't moved on after a few month, you could try contacting her again. Test the waters. Maybe she's manipulative, "did everything right" on purpose to charm you, but ultimately decided not to pursue you so she just used a general excuse. Who knows...

What did she answer, when you asked her what her text meant? Clarifying intent and meaning is something I always try to do. Sometimes it annoys people lol. But I don't like being in the dark, misunderstandings happen too frequently then, and you miss opportunities to really connect. I feel you assumed a lot without clarification.

If she stays vague, doesn't answer, avoids the topic: she is indeed trying to cut ties. Otherwise, since she shared personal trauma very quickly, she'll tell you what's tormenting her. I think.

Sorry I wrote a lot not to say much in the end lol. If you both were really into each other, I'd suggest trying to understand what's really going on. It'll help you get closure too.

[–]verystablegenius 1 insightful - 1 fun1 insightful - 0 fun2 insightful - 1 fun -  (1 child)

Thank you so much for your response. As per your question, she never responded to what I said. So yeah, she's completely uninterested in even answering my clarifying question. Lol. I'm so emberassed.

[–]Destresse 1 insightful - 1 fun1 insightful - 0 fun2 insightful - 1 fun -  (0 children)

Aw, damn... I know the feeling haha. Don't be too embarrassed, at least it was a very good experience while it lasted!