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[–]33799 6 insightful - 1 fun6 insightful - 0 fun7 insightful - 1 fun -  (1 child)

I wasn't interested in guys and they weren't interested in me... there were a couple of times (in elementary/junior high) I picked out some guy, in my head, who I thought wasn't totally obnoxious or disgusting to try and convince myself that he wasn't so bad (but I'd never tell anyone) and that maybe I could have a crush on him, but obviously it doesn't work like that, and the first time I had a real crush on a girl (ninth grade), I realised how stupid and pointless it had been to try and force myself to believe some guy was cute, that liking someone isn't just thinking "oh you're not so bad", and that I was 100% gay and definitely not bi.

Also before getting feelings for my first crush, I definitely wanted to believe to that men as beautiful as (super feminine) manga boys existed... .Hack Legend of the Twilight Bracelet's Reki and Shugo were so cute to me, lol. Or CLAMP boys... Kamui is the prettiest noodle person.

[–]Destresse 3 insightful - 1 fun3 insightful - 0 fun4 insightful - 1 fun -  (0 children)

Yeah same lol

I would also try really hard to be unattractive to boys. I felt relieved they called me ugly hahaha