The “Gold Star” Problem

submitted by WordsHaveMeanings from self.Lesbians

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[–][deleted] 17 insightful - 1 fun17 insightful - 0 fun18 insightful - 1 fun -  (3 children)

Alternatively, another way we could discourage young lesbians from sleeping with men is by chilling the fuck out so it doesn't appear like being a lesbian means being in a constant state of war with the world, including with one another.

Because I can tell you, the angry, combative lesbian stereotype did young me absolutely no favors.

[–]Wot 8 insightful - 7 fun8 insightful - 6 fun9 insightful - 7 fun -  (2 children)

I hope older you realizes these stereotypes come from living in a misogynistic and homophobic world and not because lesbians are just shitty people. We didn't light our own houses on fire and if we don't hollar no one will know we're burning. Because what would also discourage lesbians from fucking men is speaking up when you see lesbophobia which is what I feel I see here. I'm not under the impression a lack of anger has overall done women in general many favors nor am I going to let stereotypes rob my voice to make the lesbian experience more palpable. I'm a black woman, it's a trap.

Your argument describes the experience of many women who transitioned too. I'm not these stereotypes women seem to be thus I must not be a woman.

[–][deleted] 8 insightful - 1 fun8 insightful - 0 fun9 insightful - 1 fun -  (1 child)

Truly. The angry, combative lesbian stereotype was created by men to control women. As was the angry, combative suffragette stereotype from a century ago. As was the angry, combative feminist stereotype of the 60s/70s. As is the angry, combative "TERF" stereotype that we're seeing now. Notice a pattern. Men encourage these false depictions of women because they know women are conditioned to be "nice" so none of us wants to be this angry, combative woman everyone hates for no real reason and they know we'll try to be the opposite if just to be seen as "the right kind of woman." These stereotypes are essentially a campaign of "bitches be crazy" and they only serve to benefit men by creating the social pressure for women to be nicer, overlook our own needs, desires, and sexualities so that we continue to be the "weaker" sex to (for) men. Women in this thread talking about not wanting to define ourselves by men.

Letting men influence your opinions of women who are more like you than any man is the ultimate in defining yourself by men. If women think being a lesbian is bad, less will realize they're lesbians and straight men have "more options." If women don't vote or fight against misogynistic laws that control our bodies and lives, men control our bodies and lives. If radfems weren't currently fighting back against this absolute insanity of trans and kweer nonsense... could you imagine?

[–]Wot 2 insightful - 1 fun2 insightful - 0 fun3 insightful - 1 fun -  (0 children)

Women in this thread talking about not wanting to define ourselves by men.

Letting men influence your opinions of women who are more like you than any man is the ultimate in defining yourself by men.

Spot on. Ultimately, women in general, even lesbians, are okay with defining ourselves by men and it comes from agreeing to function within this male bullshit world, to the way we dress and even the language we use to define ourselves and other women. We define ourselves by men so much I'd say we really don't even know what woman are because exist in a androcentric, male supremacist world. So, yeah finding that sentiment here is truly funny. They just wanted to hate on gold stars in a thread about how gold stars are being persecuted.

If radfems weren't currently fighting back against this absolute insanity of trans and kweer nonsense... could you imagine?

Absolutely. It's as you said after all, it's only or primarily radfems because one thing women are scared of is not fitting within male made stereotypes of what a good woman is regardless of sexuality.