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[–]VioletRemi 12 insightful - 1 fun12 insightful - 0 fun13 insightful - 1 fun -  (5 children)

I never saw any lesbian saying "you are not real lesbian", lesbians are saying "you are not lesbian at all" to transwomen (and to bisexuals sometimes). Only times I saw someone was using "not real lesbian" is when men were trying to get into our pants.

Words have their meanings and words exist to communicate. Lesbian means female homosexual. In other words female that loves other females and only females. So just by definition transbian is not a lesbian at all, just because transbian is a male with penis. Same with women who are sleeping with transbians - she is just a bisexual, not lesbian. Same with women who are hating man - they aren't lesbians either.

All those "now this word means something different" is so stupid and only creates confusion. Words exist to communicate and to mean something, not to mean nothing. And because of those "now word means something different" we are getting into such weird situations like this. And then males bullying lesbians to sleep with them - like homophobes were always doing before - but now they are "victims".

[–]literallyjustvibing[S] 3 insightful - 1 fun3 insightful - 0 fun4 insightful - 1 fun -  (4 children)

lesbians saying that males (transbians) aren't lesbians is different to what i'm talking about. i've seen libfem lesbians saying that radfem lesbians aren't actually lesbians. like "i'm revoking your lesbian card". which makes it clear they see lesbianism as primarily a political position rather than a sexual orientation.

but yes i agree - lesbian is female homosexual. the only way you can be a lesbian and sleep with a transbian is if you've been pressured into it by people who think that sexual boundaries are """""transphobic""""".

[–]VioletRemi 7 insightful - 4 fun7 insightful - 3 fun8 insightful - 4 fun -  (3 children)

Not even sleeping with them is accounting here, but if she liked it or not. I was married on a man for 2.5-3 years, and I thought I was asexual. Sexologist gave a conclusion that I am frigid. I really tried hard to "fix" myself to love men (as I only had crushes into women before, and living in homophobic country with hard censore over homosexual information, I had no idea that women can be together). Sleeping with woman I liked in one bed (not even having sex, just laying close) "fixed" that "frigidness" in an instant, tho! So what I am saying that lesbian will not be even aroused from male and will not really enjoy sex with male, and it is not because "lesbian have chosen that" or it is "preferences", no, it is because of how we were born. We just can't, even if we try, even if we really will want to, - it is not how our body works.

[–]literallyjustvibing[S] 3 insightful - 1 fun3 insightful - 0 fun4 insightful - 1 fun -  (2 children)

yeah trust me, i know. i tried to fix myself for a long time, which led me to label myself as a "probably asexual trans boy" (yikes). but you're totally right, it's the liking that determines if you're a lesbian.

[–]VioletRemi 6 insightful - 2 fun6 insightful - 1 fun7 insightful - 2 fun -  (1 child)

Ha ha, I tried to "become a boy, so then I will be able to be with women" too at some point :D

[–]literallyjustvibing[S] 2 insightful - 1 fun2 insightful - 0 fun3 insightful - 1 fun -  (0 children)

don't we all 😂