Fingering the armpit or rewriting lesbian desire in the mainstream

submitted by Innisfree from self.Lesbians

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[–]Innisfree[S] 3 insightful - 2 fun3 insightful - 1 fun4 insightful - 2 fun -  (29 children)

Shoot we can't have that, that would shame us to the whole Republic! Would you be willing to provide the inspiration for a lesbian Luke to her Han Solo? Shall we get Riley Keough to play her?

[–][deleted] 2 insightful - 3 fun2 insightful - 2 fun3 insightful - 3 fun -  (14 children)

So in order to play me in a movie you need to find someone tan, shredded, with a wicked cold half smile, calm confidence in 99% of situations, that also looks damn good in ray-bans, an off white Stetson and ass hugging jeans. If you can find that I’ll advise them to an Oscar worthy performance on how to be me.

[–]Innisfree[S] 3 insightful - 3 fun3 insightful - 2 fun4 insightful - 3 fun -  (13 children)

Here's the whole project going down - you are setting the bar too high! Hmm, maybe only Michelle Pfeiffer about 20 years ago if we got her in a gym for six months and didn't let her out until she was ready! We might find her passed-out on some machine though :D

Some people are just meant to lead by their unique example - and no rep can match

[–][deleted] 3 insightful - 3 fun3 insightful - 2 fun4 insightful - 3 fun -  (11 children)

Linda Hamilton in t2, but lez

[–][deleted] 3 insightful - 2 fun3 insightful - 1 fun4 insightful - 2 fun -  (6 children)

I think I might have a better jaw line. But you’re getting close

[–][deleted] 3 insightful - 3 fun3 insightful - 2 fun4 insightful - 3 fun -  (5 children)

Picture or it’s a lie

[–][deleted] 1 insightful - 3 fun1 insightful - 2 fun2 insightful - 3 fun -  (4 children)

Like I said you only get one

[–][deleted] 1 insightful - 3 fun1 insightful - 2 fun2 insightful - 3 fun -  (3 children)

Boooooooooooooooo

[–][deleted] 2 insightful - 3 fun2 insightful - 2 fun3 insightful - 3 fun -  (2 children)

That’s like 100% more that anyone else will get. Don’t booooooooooooo me lol

[–][deleted] 2 insightful - 2 fun2 insightful - 1 fun3 insightful - 2 fun -  (1 child)

I’m greedy and a pain in the ass, not sorry.

[–]Innisfree[S] 3 insightful - 1 fun3 insightful - 0 fun4 insightful - 1 fun -  (3 children)

Omg. Lindaaa! Yes) Them arrrms.

You should be hereby entrusted with all the casting decisions.

[–][deleted] 2 insightful - 2 fun2 insightful - 1 fun3 insightful - 2 fun -  (2 children)

Oh man, i would rather be the king’s advisor or something so i don’t have to take credit lol

[–]Innisfree[S] 3 insightful - 1 fun3 insightful - 0 fun4 insightful - 1 fun -  (1 child)

You don't want to be blamed for all the good calls you're making? I see. I'll take the credit if you share the auditions duties with me. I can't be trusted not to gawp - it's Linda after all :)

[–][deleted] 2 insightful - 1 fun2 insightful - 0 fun3 insightful - 1 fun -  (0 children)

I don’t get star struck, so it’s a deal.

[–][deleted] 3 insightful - 2 fun3 insightful - 1 fun4 insightful - 2 fun -  (0 children)

Just shooting for accuracy.

[–][deleted] 2 insightful - 2 fun2 insightful - 1 fun3 insightful - 2 fun -  (11 children)

And janeane garofalo will play me

[–]Innisfree[S] 3 insightful - 1 fun3 insightful - 0 fun4 insightful - 1 fun -  (10 children)

Omg no, I can't let you have Janeane, I had the biggest crush on her in the '90s! It was intense ok (we were supposed to be married and have kids until I found out she was with a guy) :) . I need a moment...

Edit: Moment taken, I've made my peace,😂 Janeane would be great - it's about time for her humour to come back we miss it!

[–][deleted] 2 insightful - 1 fun2 insightful - 0 fun3 insightful - 1 fun -  (9 children)

I’ve been compared to her when I am deadpan. Which is often, at work. My gfs wouldn’t compare me to her though because I am much more animated and emotive when I like someone.

[–]Innisfree[S] 3 insightful - 2 fun3 insightful - 1 fun4 insightful - 2 fun -  (8 children)

Deadpan is a superpower. Mate, I'd be surprised you didn't have stalkers a-la Buckskin. I hope not, but wouldn't be surprised.

When Janeane disappeared from the limelight (end of '90s?) " I felt a great disturbance in the Force, as if millions of voices were suddenly silenced." I am glad you are keeping her brand of deadpan alive :)

[–][deleted] 2 insightful - 2 fun2 insightful - 1 fun3 insightful - 2 fun -  (7 children)

I’m so clueless I would be easy to stalk. It would take all the fun out of it.

Remember Janeane as Vicky in reality bites? Lol. She was the best. Also Winona Ryder. They shoulda been a couple

“Who told you that? Your psychic partner?”

[–]Innisfree[S] 3 insightful - 2 fun3 insightful - 1 fun4 insightful - 2 fun -  (6 children)

Yes and yes. You're like some lesbian Santa showering us with gifts. Everybody should get on the Garofalo nostalgia train with us. Y'all watch this scene if in doubt.

Wynona be hot. They did look like the perfect lesbian couple. So much so that now in my mind I'm rewriting the dialogue to some sweet lesbian domestic bickering. Janeane wins, because deadpan, and they get to play the "Who touches first" game during sex. I went too far, too far... :)

[–][deleted] 2 insightful - 2 fun2 insightful - 1 fun3 insightful - 2 fun -  (2 children)

https://youtu.be/St4J91Yw7i8 me and my gf

[–]Innisfree[S] 3 insightful - 1 fun3 insightful - 0 fun4 insightful - 1 fun -  (1 child)

Ahh, the definition of happiness. I still sing "I said to my reflection, let's get out of this place" when shit gets to real at work.

And here's me and my gf - because the goofy dance move Janeane does here is my specialty :)

[–][deleted] 2 insightful - 2 fun2 insightful - 1 fun3 insightful - 2 fun -  (0 children)

Yeah, what a bunch of dorks.

[–][deleted] 1 insightful - 2 fun1 insightful - 1 fun2 insightful - 2 fun -  (2 children)

Who touches first?! Ive not played this because i touch first.

That clip is not of janeane, btw

[–]Innisfree[S] 3 insightful - 1 fun3 insightful - 0 fun4 insightful - 1 fun -  (1 child)

Clipboard mixup - fixed it :). The who touches first is apparently called "Too Hot" and has it's own urban dictionary entry Inspired by The L Word of course: Shane gives Carmen a breakdown of the game here Sarah Shahi what you be doing to us? :)

[–][deleted] 1 insightful - 2 fun1 insightful - 1 fun2 insightful - 2 fun -  (0 children)

I would touch first for sure. Lol. I wouldn’t last 30 seconds

[–][deleted] 1 insightful - 2 fun1 insightful - 1 fun2 insightful - 2 fun -  (1 child)

I’m not cool enough. I’m the comic relief. I’ll be han’s fast-talking sidekick who gets us out of hot water

[–]Innisfree[S] 3 insightful - 1 fun3 insightful - 0 fun4 insightful - 1 fun -  (0 children)

Seconded. I always thought Chewbacca should be rewritten as a fantastic lesbian sidekick, whose wits and agility are unequaled in the galaxy :)

I'm one of the ewoks Leia hugs/kisses at one point - I can live with that 😂