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[–]Climblikeabee 4 insightful - 1 fun4 insightful - 0 fun5 insightful - 1 fun -  (2 children)

I actually relate to her so much in this situation, but I do use lesbian now because fuck what other people think about me and my past.

I wrote extensively on reddit about my experiences (before the banning), but the basic gist is I dated a few guys who pursued me who were all very sweet good friends of mine, and after a couple months of dating each of them I felt nauseous and disgusted by them and like I would rather die than spend another intimate moment with them. I already knew I was into women but I hadn't fallen for anyone and was still in denial. I have a daughter so my past dating life clearly includes at least one man. Using the label of lesbian means being questioned by everyone on the "validity" of how it applies to me. I do call myself a lesbian because I am one, even if I didn't embrace and fully understand it until my early 20s. I did care deeply about the men I dated, they were good people, and I broke a lot of hearts. Calling myself a lesbian feels like dismissing those relationships in my past as meaningless. They did mean something to me, even if it wasn't love or even anything even close to resembling attraction.

Kind of a rant haha but you know. She might not want to deal with any of that bullshit. She could also be bi but personally I followed the same thought process as you.

[–]carrotcake[S] 3 insightful - 1 fun3 insightful - 0 fun4 insightful - 1 fun -  (1 child)

Oh man I feel you. I've only had one relationship with a man but he was nice and we still talk sometimes. I do think about what he'll think when he knows that I'm actually a lesbian and not bi. I don't want to make anyone feel bad.

[–]Climblikeabee 2 insightful - 1 fun2 insightful - 0 fun3 insightful - 1 fun -  (0 children)

Yeah exactly! I did tell a few of them and they took it really well, but I do carry some weird guilt about it all. At the end of the day it felt good though.