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[–]yayblueberries 12 insightful - 1 fun12 insightful - 0 fun13 insightful - 1 fun -  (5 children)

I've mostly given up right now. I do this thing where every time I am unemployed I won't look for a relationship; not that I expect to be the provider, but I just feel like it wouldn't be fair to my potential partner? I guess? However, if on the off chance that I did come across somebody very interested right now, I wouldn't say no. But I'm not putting any energy into trying at the moment.

To me it feels a bit hopeless too, but that's because there was a big lesbian meetup group that did fun things together, and they aren't active at all during the quarantine. I'm also not obviously lesbian visually to people so randomly hitting it up rarely happens, I should find something that sort of says, "Hey I'm a lesbian," to other lesbians.

[–]Jaded 7 insightful - 1 fun7 insightful - 0 fun8 insightful - 1 fun -  (4 children)

Same about the unemployment angle. Plus I have to ask myself-- do I really want to attract the type of woman that is interested in dating someone unemployed?

[–]florasis 12 insightful - 1 fun12 insightful - 0 fun13 insightful - 1 fun -  (3 children)

Don't get it. Do you want to meet a kind of woman who cares about your bank account, rather than just caring about you?

[–]Jaded 11 insightful - 1 fun11 insightful - 0 fun12 insightful - 1 fun -  (2 children)

It's not about the money, it's that it's possible for unemployment to be a red flag for underlying issues. Someone unemployed could just be between jobs or was part of a mass layoff at their company. But they could also be the type of person that's difficult to work with (so interpersonal issues), or has mental health issues that makes holding down a job impossible, or they could be a scrub looking to freeload off their partner. No job in and of itself isn't a dealbreaker, but it's important to be aware that it may be indicative of other issues.

So when I say that I'm probably not interested in the type of woman that would begin dating me while I was still unemployed, I mean I'm interested in a woman that's savvy enough to not be interested in someone with these issues. Barring some instant magnetic connection, if she's a woman with options, then she's probably going to pursue those other options instead.

And of course it's completely different if we're dating and then I lose my job, because sometimes that just happens.

[–]florasis 5 insightful - 1 fun5 insightful - 0 fun6 insightful - 1 fun -  (0 children)

Oh yeah, true, if the lack of job is related to a problematic character that could create problems in relations, that would be different.

[–]reluctant_commenter 5 insightful - 1 fun5 insightful - 0 fun6 insightful - 1 fun -  (0 children)

So when I say that I'm probably not interested in the type of woman that would begin dating me while I was still unemployed, I mean I'm interested in a woman that's savvy enough to not be interested in someone with these issues.

Nailed it.