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[–][deleted] 8 insightful - 2 fun8 insightful - 1 fun9 insightful - 2 fun -  (5 children)

I am so sorry to hear that. It does make one feel completely insane. And so sad.

When I was with a person who lied to me to GET me, and over and over to KEEP me, I almost always felt like I was making too much of it, maybe not listening enough, maybe not saying the right things, maybe not being supportive enough. It’s wild how the victim of lies starts feeling like they deserved it because they maybe were not understanding enough or open enough. The crazy feeling, for me, came from trying so hard to find a way to BELIEVE her when the lies and minimizing kept adding up. I felt crazy from trying to make something okay that was clearly not okay, and trying to make things my fault that did not start with me.

Your experience is probably different, but take heed of the crazy feeling and the confusion. You shouldn’t be feeling that when your partner is honest with you. It just doesn’t occur.

[–][deleted]  (2 children)

[deleted]

    [–]reluctant_commenter 7 insightful - 3 fun7 insightful - 2 fun8 insightful - 3 fun -  (0 children)

    Hey, you are worth so much more than that. If somebody is gaslighting you so much that you've had to start writing down what they say so you don't doubt yourself later-- they are probably doing you WAY more harm than good.

    I was in that position with a relative. I was torn up about it for so long, because I had a few fantastic memories with them. But what people often forget, is that sometimes, highly abusive people are intoxicating to be around.

    You deserve someone who you don't have to tiptoe around and who doesn't make you feel like you're crazy. I don't want to tell you what to do though, I don't know this person in your life, and only you can decide. If you want to talk or anything, feel free to hit me up.

    [–][deleted] 5 insightful - 2 fun5 insightful - 1 fun6 insightful - 2 fun -  (0 children)

    Man, that makes me want to cry. Wow, I am so sorry that you’re suffering so much with someone you love, it’s so hard to feel that way and to have to make lists. I did similar things, but they always find a way to make you feel bad.

    [–]reluctant_commenter 6 insightful - 3 fun6 insightful - 2 fun7 insightful - 3 fun -  (0 children)

    I relate to this a ton. I'm sorry you went through this as well.