LGB ErasureShe came out... as asexual

submitted by RedJackalRampant homosexual from (self.LGBDropTheT)

I'm on an LGB(TQIAA2S+) dating app. I was talking to a girl and she came out to me as sexual. Specially graysexual and demisexual. Which means she's only sexually attracted to someone after getting to know them, and a limited amount at that.

She mentioned how she's closeted because her church won't accept her for being "queer." And I think to myself, what wouldn't they like about this news? You'd be the perfect nun.

Why do people try so hard to be something they're not (queer)?

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[–]RippoffOfLoveSStraight | Overuses quotation marks 12 insightful - 1 fun12 insightful - 0 fun13 insightful - 1 fun -  (2 children)

Asexual meaning anything other than "no interest in sex whatsoever" is so incredibly pointless. And don't even get me started on "demisexuality" as a label. Can we please stop pretending that almost everyone is constantly having no-strings-attached sex for their entire lives?

[–]spanishprofanity 9 insightful - 1 fun9 insightful - 0 fun10 insightful - 1 fun -  (0 children)

Can we please stop pretending that almost everyone is constantly having no-strings-attached sex for their entire lives?

what they mean by "demisexual" is that they don't see a person and are immediately attracted to them. which is fucking stupid because there are tons of people who, when they first met their spouse or s/o, weren't attracted to them until after getting to know them. never needed a word for this completely normal human experience but here we are with these clowns calling themselves queers and pretending to be oppressed

[–]GrouchyHierophantLuGuBrious not Tenebrous 8 insightful - 1 fun8 insightful - 0 fun9 insightful - 1 fun -  (0 children)

That's what hysterical virgins think "normal" people do. To a hysterical virgin, everyone else is having constant sex orgies (or they hope they are). Makes it either more exciting or more sinful, depending on how they lean.

[–]Femaleisnthateful 6 insightful - 1 fun6 insightful - 0 fun7 insightful - 1 fun -  (5 children)

I think ironically a lot of these identities are personal shields against the boundary violating excesses of gender ideology. Like these people don't want to be pressured into fucking transwomen or whatever, so they say they're demisexual or asexual. Or they can't or won't embody the ridiculous regressive gender stereotypes this movement promotes, so they go for Non-binary.

[–]WanderingWonderWizard Extraordinaire 7 insightful - 1 fun7 insightful - 0 fun8 insightful - 1 fun -  (0 children)

I had an arguement once with a person over demisexuality, where I said it was a useless label as almost everyone was pretty “demisexual”. He told me that in the context of irl stuff it would be stupid, but when it came to using dating apps where most people just want to hook up, claiming you were demisexual was a way to vet out the type of people who would want a relationship or get to know him an not just hook up. I think that’s the only way I can see demisexual as useful as people would actually look at that label and either respect it or ignore it, while saying that you only want a relationship on those apps always gets ignored.

[–]Three_oneFourWanted for thought crimes in countless ideologies 4 insightful - 1 fun4 insightful - 0 fun5 insightful - 1 fun -  (0 children)

It may be that the gender crowd has made so much focus on who is or isn't in your sexuality datability/fuckability groups that people who can't be bothered to give a damn about sorting every human they meet in terms of sex (so nearly anyone outside the gender crowd) think there's something unique about them for being normal humans who aren't totally sex obsessed.

It would be like if people who drove cars to commute started identifying as pedestrians because vocal car nuts have garages bigger than their houses with a dozen vehicles inside and normal drivers don't think that they count anymore for having just one car.

[–]INeedSomeTimeAsexual Ally 1 insightful - 1 fun1 insightful - 0 fun2 insightful - 1 fun -  (2 children)

I can see that even if asexuality is something I found out about when I noticed that I was genuinely different from other adults. Not by just doing the... "LGBT label shopping" on Tumblr (I think I didn't really have Tumblr account back then and on different socials LGBT was mostly about gay/bi people then).

But I see that I am spared this weird, creepy expectation to be down for a trans person no matter if you're gay, bi or straight. I have a friend who says she's a lesbian but has a... bigger preference for dicks. I don't have any comments. She is super brainwashed in that regards that I am a bit sad for her.

[–]RedJackalRampant homosexual[S] 1 insightful - 1 fun1 insightful - 0 fun2 insightful - 1 fun -  (1 child)

I don't think I could stand your friend, to be honest.

[–]INeedSomeTimeAsexual Ally 2 insightful - 1 fun2 insightful - 0 fun3 insightful - 1 fun -  (0 children)

To be fair she is a very decent person aside from that and her "beliefs" make me sad more than infuriated because she overall has this kind of personally in which tries very hard to be a people pleaser and is afraid to confront anyone. It's clear to me she was exposed to a group which shared that belief and brainwashed her into believing it that. It's super sad and harmful though and makes me mad how this whole movement takes advantage of people like her, who are afraid to question or stand up for themselves. Hell, even I prefer to be anonymous when I come here - because the consequences can get this bad. So I am more pissed off at the whole TQ+ movement which made her have so messed up takes on her sexuality. And I will not reveal more personal stuff about her but that combo of prefering dicks but as long as they are "on women" and some stuff she experienced in real life with men, makes me believe she may be bisexual but due to past experiences she doesn't want to ever try anything with men as long as they pretend to be ladies. Because of course she believes a transwoman is just like normal woman.

Anyway I think a lot of handmaidens of the TQ+ movement are also people who ended up coerced to preach the gospel. It takes advantage of vulnerable people... but to be fair that’s not that surprising. It takes advange of vulnerability of being a minority so much that it’s disgusting.

[–]Athelhilda4Questioning 5 insightful - 1 fun5 insightful - 0 fun6 insightful - 1 fun -  (0 children)

She mentioned how she's closeted because her church won't accept her for being "queer." And I think to myself, what wouldn't they like about this news? You'd be the perfect nun.

Not necessarily. Some churches take the whole "be fruitful and multiply" thing to the extreme and see marriage and childbirth as a woman's sole purpose in life. Women who either don't get the chance to marry/have children or refuse to do so are heavily stigmatized in really evangelical communities. Also, nuns are more of a Catholic or Orthodox thing, Protestants don't have nuns or priests.

I don't see why asexuality isn't a possible sexuality that could exist. If there are people who are sexually attracted to both sexes (bisexuals), it stands to reason that there are people who are sexually attracted to neither sex.

[–]Q-Continuum-kin 4 insightful - 2 fun4 insightful - 1 fun5 insightful - 2 fun -  (1 child)

If anyone tries to claim they are asexual I'm going to ask if they spawn eggs with copies of themselves.

[–]INeedSomeTimeAsexual Ally 1 insightful - 1 fun1 insightful - 0 fun2 insightful - 1 fun -  (0 children)

Cloning myself would be horrifying to be fair

[–]INeedSomeTimeAsexual Ally 2 insightful - 1 fun2 insightful - 0 fun3 insightful - 1 fun -  (6 children)

Honestly I hate how greysexuality/demisexuality are put together with asexuality. One implies the person will be still down for something but after a while, the other one will be never down for anything. And this way a straight woman who just needs a bit more time to fuck can claim to be "queer."

And even then I don't view either as queer. I don't feel persecuted for asexuality like gay/bi people do. I have other issues though, as I gotta organize my life a bit differently than average straight person. In a way I gotta find another asexual like me to be comparible and have a relationship where we both are happy. Not one where one is prevented from having their natural needs met because of me.

I overall don't like the word queer at this point. I associate Queer with the idea of a subculture, cultural appropriation and LGB tourism by straight people. To me queer means a poser, lol.

[–]RedJackalRampant homosexual[S] 1 insightful - 1 fun1 insightful - 0 fun2 insightful - 1 fun -  (4 children)

It must be frustrating to see "queers" claim they're an asexuality spectrum. It minimizes your struggles.

[–]INeedSomeTimeAsexual Ally 2 insightful - 1 fun2 insightful - 0 fun3 insightful - 1 fun -  (3 children)

I got fed up with mainstream asexual spaces years ago. You'd think you will see people having discussion about actual asexuality - what makes us different to the rest to the world, what doesn't, what are the common experiences we don't relate to, how we want to navigate the world as asexuals etc. Well no. You so often so people being like: "How often do you guys masturbate?" "What kinks do you have?" "How often do you have sex?" "Is it OK for me to be in this space if I am ace who has sex everyday with my partner but just recently realized I may be ace but love sex?" "What kinds of porn do you watch?" Or some random posts like: "Remember you're valid if you're an asexual who is addicted to porn/is hypersexual/has kinks/has sex everyday/loves sex."

I got so fed up one day and unsubbed from all the "ace" subs on Reddit and muted tags and words associated with asexuality on other social media. Kinda sad but it saved me some sanity. I guess I can slightly relate to you guys when I see similar "activism" with posts/randos preaching how as a lesbian you have to love the dick if it's attached to a "woman" or as a gay man you gotta love pussy if it's attached to a "man".

I think the whole LGBTQWTF+ is all over the place for everyone. Even for actual trans people who don't subscribe to any of that bullshit.

[–]RedJackalRampant homosexual[S] 2 insightful - 1 fun2 insightful - 0 fun3 insightful - 1 fun -  (2 children)

We have a very similar experience in that regard. Our identities are being torn down by the posers who for some reason magnetically gravitate to the LGBTQ+ community. I have no problem working hand-in-hand with true asexuals - after all, they struggle with real issues that society as large doesn't understand. But in the end, we're not the same thing and shouldn't be joined together in an acronym that no longer means anything. Screw the fake queers.

[–]PriestTheyCalledHimBisexual 1 insightful - 2 fun1 insightful - 1 fun2 insightful - 2 fun -  (1 child)

Janelle Monae has entered the chat.

[–]RedJackalRampant homosexual[S] 1 insightful - 1 fun1 insightful - 0 fun2 insightful - 1 fun -  (0 children)

https://youtu.be/PaYvlVR_BEc?si=Kk75cK0p76b5325d

Never forget.

[–]PriestTheyCalledHimBisexual 1 insightful - 1 fun1 insightful - 0 fun2 insightful - 1 fun -  (0 children)

Decades ago I met lots of queer identified men and women in academia who after I told them I am bisexual they said how they are actually heterosexual/straight but identified as queer to appear edgy, for attention, etc.

The one man that was a university professor said he is a "male lesbian" despite being heterosexual and not TS because he cheats on his wife with hookers.