Indoctrination / DoublethinkThe irony - complaining because "online queer folk have decided lesbians can have sex with men for fun"

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[–]Mermer 2 insightful - 2 fun2 insightful - 1 fun3 insightful - 2 fun -  (1 child)

I don't think we should be spreading the idea of being pressed about who sleeps with who. Why don't lesbians get to be bi-curious? I think many lesbians struggle with accepting being a lesbian because how it is forbidden for them to even find a man attractive. You can appreciate someone's attractiveness, hell even have a crush on them but never actually see them in that way realistically. And maybe you can even try it with a very special man for the pure sake of experimentation or fun without having to disgenuinely identify as bi. Idk, if you ask me, using men for sex without actually liking them or with having 0 intentions of anything real seems pretty gay to me. Just my opinion, pls don't attack me if you disagree.

Wow, ok, edit: call me crazy but I still don't think purely circumstantial, one in a million probably heavily power imbalanced sex with a man makes you bi if you don't seek relations with men on regular basis. Also, finding a man attractive ≠ being attracted to him especially if you don't normally find men attractive.

If these girls would use some more specific label like "bisexual homoromantic" you'd probably be rolling your eyes. Labels are societal and signal who you're interested in so I do not think it is fair to call yourself bi if you don't like men and you're not interested in them.

Edit 2: afterthoughts, if anyone even sees this. I'm not saying what those girls are doing is right. You really shouldn't be sleeping with people just because you're bored. But if that's your reasoning behind it I really wouldn't count it as attraction.

[–]PenseePansyBio-Sex or Bust 6 insightful - 1 fun6 insightful - 0 fun7 insightful - 1 fun -  (0 children)

The thing is, this not only effectively erases lesbians (as others have already said)-- it also erases bisexual women.

Because what you're describing here IS female bisexuality. Yes, even if the woman doesn't seek sex with men on a regular basis; even if she only occasionally finds a man attractive; even if she just sleeps with them for fun, without any sense of emotional attachment. "Bisexual" simply means being sexually attracted to both sexes; it doesn't matter whether that attraction is equal-- you can be decidedly more inclined one way than the other-- or involves liking/loving them. The term covers all of this.

But if it's included under "lesbian"... what does "bisexual" mean anymore? Particularly since it tends to be forgotten/ignored/dismissed as it is.

In order for both bisexuality and female homosexuality to be recognized and respected, "lesbian" must maintain its definition as "woman or girl who is exclusively same-sex attracted". Otherwise, we both get lost: lesbians are misinterpreted as bisexuals, and bisexuals just plain disappear. We've already seen what damage the former can do ("girldick", anyone?); I sure don't wanna see the latter come to pass, either!