Gay MenThe Final Death of an LGBTQ+ Forum

submitted by JulienMayfair from self.LGBDropTheT

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[–]RedEyedWarriorGay | Male | 🇮🇪 Irish 🇮🇪 | Antineoliberal | Cocks are Compulsory 33 insightful - 1 fun33 insightful - 0 fun34 insightful - 1 fun -  (4 children)

Lots of older members were not happy, but were bullied by the newer members.

How it starts.

The gay men? They've just all quietly left.

And how it ends.

It’s not enough to be part of the same group physically. You have to spiritually be a part of that group. The younger members who bullied the older members should have been kicked out, not just for the bullying, but also for advocating that the group be watered down. Maybe the group would have still died eventually, but at least it would have died with dignity as opposed to fading away into a slow death. In fact, there is a chance that the group would have survived, because then younger gay men who see through the bullshit will join the group and keep the spirit of that group alive. In order to be exclusive, you have to exclude people who try to change the fundamentals characteristics of that group.

I hear a lot about how young gay men and boys are whinging about how oppressed they are even though they have it better than older gay men. And I also hear a lot about how these same young gay men and boys treat older gay men poorly. It’s disgusting. But I am going to have to be blunt and acknowledge that older gay men are partly responsible because they tolerated this type of behaviour from these youths. At the same time, if most gay men under 30 are disrespectful shits to their elders, then why should we feel sorry for them if western countries start adopting laws similar to laws in Russia and Hungary?

[–]IridescentAnacondastrictly dickly 12 insightful - 1 fun12 insightful - 0 fun13 insightful - 1 fun -  (3 children)

It's complicated. I think older men creeping on younger men is a real thing, and young men put up barriers to protect themselves. But also, younger men have trouble conceiving of a man's value in any other way but sexual, so they discount the value of elders.

When I was a young gay man I intrinsically understood that someday I would be old (the gods willing) and thus treated older men the way I would want to be treated when I was older. (But also, since I have generally preferred older men sexually, I was sometimes attracted to them so there's that.)

I only know a handful of young gay men in real life now, and I tend to think they are silly. In my professional life I serve as mentors to several people, most of them younger straight men (well I have one direct report I'm not sure about but even still I think he is more likely straight). I enjoy the mentoring because I do care about "giving back" to younger generations. It's a pity that many younger gay men have trouble seeing the benefit in having older gay male (platonic) mentors, but I guess that's life.

[–]RedEyedWarriorGay | Male | 🇮🇪 Irish 🇮🇪 | Antineoliberal | Cocks are Compulsory 8 insightful - 1 fun8 insightful - 0 fun9 insightful - 1 fun -  (2 children)

I am aware that some older gay men prey on younger gay men, so I can understand why some younger gay men might put up barriers. It’s still not okay to be rude, dismissive or intimidating to other people. A lot of younger gay men take for granted how lucky they are compared to their elders.

I will admit, I do have a thing for older men. My only concern is bringing a man 15-20 years older than me home to my parents. I’m sure they’d be accepting and I’m just overthinking it, but it just feels weird to me. But I’ve given up seeking out gay men close to my age, because they don’t seem to exist in my town, or they don’t respond, or they’re not what I’m looking for. Maybe I should give men in their 30’s and 40’s a chance - I’m 26 by the way.

[–]Elvira95Viva la figa 7 insightful - 1 fun7 insightful - 0 fun8 insightful - 1 fun -  (1 child)

Me too. I definitely much more attracted to older women. Anything under 25 is a turnoff, most of the time. I like maturity, knowing yourself and also maybe I search for a bit of protection feeling

[–]RedEyedWarriorGay | Male | 🇮🇪 Irish 🇮🇪 | Antineoliberal | Cocks are Compulsory 6 insightful - 1 fun6 insightful - 0 fun7 insightful - 1 fun -  (0 children)

I don’t have a lot of experience with relationships, so having an older boyfriend makes a lot more sense for me.