Every time I'm with a group of women, I'm wishing they don't speak about guys and when they do, I get this instant depressive feeling, this is the word I could find that most accurately describes how I feel.

I have this experience, too. I described it in my comment to u/artemisiagrey but basically it's a feeling of dismay, like your heart dropping, like oh yeah, I forgot this was a thing. It feels alienating and "depressive" is a good word to describe it, too.

I've debated trying to talk to a couple of my close-ish friends, who are straight, about it, but there are a bunch of reasons why those conversations might go poorly-- they could get pissed off depending on their gender identity ideology views, they might just get awkward and have no idea what to say, etc.

Just wanted to say I relate, I feel the same way, and I appreciate you making this post. Hope we both get past this, and everyone else out there who is struggling with it. <3