We don’t make enough time for trans and non-binary members within our spaces and venues.

Why should we make time for these people? Those spaces are meant for us. If we give them permission to be in our spaces - which we’re not obligated to do, by the way - we expect them to behave themselves because they’re guests in our spaces.

I have had to argue on behalf of trans men who have been knocked back at the door of ‘Bear night’ because they didn’t fit the profile.

Well then you are free walk out with these delusional heterosexual/bisexual women so. Please do, because you are destroying our spaces from the inside. Women don’t belong in bears' spaces unless we invite them, and even then, they have to behave themselves. If you want to simp for them, do it somewhere else.

There’s no Goldilocks template for bears, none of us are ‘just right’ — all of us are. I have tried my best to break down the self-defeatist attitude of my friends who don’t think they are hairy enough, muscled enough, etc. to be considered attractive by the standards set by Instabears wearing Nasty Pig jocks or rocking a new OnlyFans account. There is nothing wrong with those things, but we cannot let our community become subsumed into the idea that there is an acceptable level of masculinity, and an unacceptable level of femininity that must be either nurtured or rejected.

There is nothing wrong with bears having standards, and if you can’t adhere to these standards, then be something else and go somewhere else.

That’s what society has done to us, and we simply need to do better than to inherit the closeted, internalised homophobia that has been given to us.

Are you seriously comparing masculine gay men being themselves and wanting spaces for themselves to homophobia? Are you mentally ill? Don’t answer that, I know. I’m not masculine because of homophobia, I’m masculine because that’s just how I am. I’m also not attracted to masculine men because of homophobia, I’m attracted to masculine men because that’s how my sexuality is.

It’s beyond time that we, as a community, challenged the notion of how important that masculinity is to us, and if being wedded to the outmoded notion of a gender binary is really worth it.

Masculinity is important to me, it’s important to a lot of gay men. And if you cannot see that, then that’s your affair.

People like you, Stephen, are the reason why the gay community is dead. People like you being entitled, delusional and narcissistic, coming into our spaces and demanding we cater to your every demand just because we’re all same sex attracted. This has to end. Gay men with their heads screwed on need to stand up, speak up and push back against assholes like you. And if that bothers you, find some gay men who are exactly like you, because sadly, there are plenty of gay men like you. And then you wonder why there’s an increase in homophobia? Because yes, your behaviour is not only hurting other gay men, but society at large. Not to mention the amount of closeted gay male teenagers who struggle because they look at people like you and end up believing that it’s you numpties who are representative of the gay community, because they don’t want anything to do with people like you.

End rant.

That was long, but everything I’ve said needed to be said. Comments have been edited for grammar and spelling. Anyway, the comments on this page are not having it, so I’m glad some gay men are standing up for our community.