BisexualFeeling Isolated As A GC Bisexual.

submitted by Ladiablapequena from self.LGBDropTheT

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[–]Daddiescummies 3 insightful - 1 fun3 insightful - 0 fun4 insightful - 1 fun -  (9 children)

especially since we outnumber you.

Are you including the fake bisexuals who pretend to be gay when they want attention and retreat back to heterosexuality when they are tired of homophobia or want to re-integrate into heterosexual privilege?

[–]throwaway999 6 insightful - 1 fun6 insightful - 0 fun7 insightful - 1 fun -  (8 children)

Are you including the fake bisexuals who pretend to be gay when they want attention and retreat back to heterosexuality when they are tired of homophobia or want to re-integrate into heterosexual privilege?

Uh, are they actually interested in both men and women? If so, they are actual bisexuals, not "fake bisexuals". Because yeah, some bisexuals do pretend to be gay, which is a problem. Or, are you using the word "gay" as a term for all same-sex attracted people, including bisexuals? It just wasn't clear. But yeah, we really outnumber you, though most of us don't identify as bi.

[–]Daddiescummies 2 insightful - 1 fun2 insightful - 0 fun3 insightful - 1 fun -  (7 children)

Uh, are they actually interested in both men and women?

No, but they will say they are for attention until the costs of homophobia outweigh the benefits.

[–]throwaway999 11 insightful - 1 fun11 insightful - 0 fun12 insightful - 1 fun -  (6 children)

I see this hypothetical het-but-pretending-to-be-bi boogeyman brought up everywhere and I've never met one. You're probably just thinking of het-leaning bis, who will often use homosexuals for sex and then fuck off because they desire the het marriage lifestyle. Of course, this does not describe all het-leaning bis, which are a huge group of people, but this is a recurring pattern due to internalized homophobia (see: heteroromantic bisexuals).

[–]venusflytrap 10 insightful - 1 fun10 insightful - 0 fun11 insightful - 1 fun -  (5 children)

People just don't like bisexuals. I've noticed.

[–]throwaway999 7 insightful - 1 fun7 insightful - 0 fun8 insightful - 1 fun -  (4 children)

The hypothetical het-but-pretending-to-be-bi boogeyman actually stands in defense of bisexuals. It basically exists to say: a bi person didn't do something bad! A bi person didn't cause harm to LGB! A bi person didn't defend TRA ideology using rhetoric created by bisexuals which only remotely makes sense to bisexuals (specifically talking about the "sexuality is fluid" myth, but there are many others, such as: "genitals != gender", "who cares what genitals your partner has, bigot")! That person isn't bi! They're really straight but pretending to be bi for attention! Instead of accepting the possibility that a bi person really did do a bad thing.

[–]PenseePansyBio-Sex or Bust 5 insightful - 1 fun5 insightful - 0 fun6 insightful - 1 fun -  (2 children)

TRA ideology using rhetoric created by bisexuals which only remotely makes sense to bisexuals (specifically talking about the "sexuality is fluid" myth, but there are many others, such as: "genitals != gender", "who cares what genitals your partner has, bigot")!

Except this rhetoric DOESN'T make sense to bisexuals; we KNOW that our sexuality isn't "fluid" (any more than yours is), we aren't attracted to "gender", and we DAMN SURE CARE WHAT GENITALS OUR PARTNER HAS. What the hell? We're a SEXUAL ORIENTATION, dude. Which NONE of these things is compatible with.

You know what they ARE compatible with? FANTASIES about bisexuality... as seen from the outside. By people who aren't bisexual. For whom we're merely symbols. Of some woke delusion about how human sexuality "should" work. Everyone oughtta be totally uninhibited! And above such LOWLY concerns as which kind of genitals anybody has! You shouldn't even NOTICE that! Cuz it's all about "gender identity" anyway! THAT'S what people are attracted to-- not your biological sex, but whether you have ladyfeelz or dudefeelz! (Or nonbinaryfeelz, or starfeelz, or whateverthefuckfeelz.) And OF COURSE this is how bisexuality works, since it's not as though we're a sexual orientation or anything! We're the JUNK DRAWER of sexuality! Doesn't fit anywhere else? Just throw it ALL in there!

So, yeah, this really DOES sound like the Q talking. For whom "attracted to both sexes" means "doesn't CARE what sex anyone is cuz they're attracted to GENDER and totally indiscriminate = LIVIN' THE WOKESTER DREAMTM". Which they are free to think because they don't have any pesky REALITY getting in the way... like we bisexuals do.

[–]throwaway999 3 insightful - 1 fun3 insightful - 0 fun4 insightful - 1 fun -  (1 child)

Except this rhetoric DOESN'T make sense to bisexuals;

I am a bi former TRA, this is what I and several other former bi friends believed. Yes, it's anecdotal, but you can see this rhetoric embraced in bi and TRA communities.

(any more than yours is)

Lol, you're not the first to assume I'm gay.

You know what they ARE compatible with? FANTASIES about bisexuality... as seen from the outside. By people who aren't bisexual. For whom we're merely symbols. Of some woke delusion about how human sexuality "should" work. Everyone oughtta be totally uninhibited! And above such LOWLY concerns as which kind of genitals anybody has! You shouldn't even NOTICE that! Cuz it's all about "gender identity" anyway! THAT'S what people are attracted to-- not your biological sex, but whether you have ladyfeelz or dudefeelz! (Or nonbinaryfeelz, or starfeelz, or whateverthefuckfeelz.) And OF COURSE this is how bisexuality works, since it's not as though we're a sexual orientation or anything! We're the JUNK DRAWER of sexuality! Doesn't fit anywhere else? Just throw it ALL in there!

So, yeah, this really DOES sound like the Q talking. For whom "attracted to both sexes" means "doesn't CARE what sex anyone is cuz they're attracted to GENDER and totally indiscriminate = LIVIN' THE WOKESTER DREAMTM". Which they are free to think because they don't have any pesky REALITY getting in the way... like we bisexuals do.

This is a strawman. Obviously I don't agree with TRA rhetoric. All I said is that bisexuals are the only orientation who would not be repulsed by transsexuals on the basis of their orientation, because a bisexual is not repulsed by either sex's primary or secondary sex characteristics. For example, a lesbian would be repulsed by a transsexual male because he is male, and would be repulsed by a transsexual female because she has biologically masculine characteristics, such as increased body and even facial hair and lack of breasts.

My point about "sexuality is fluid" being a bi thing is because it is. Let me explain: "sexuality" is fluid does kind of sound meaningless, but what it means is that sexuality can change. It's fluid as opposed to solid or rigid. Now, for a bisexual, one's orientation may appear to change. One day, a bi man may see an attractive man, and think, hmm I am attracted to men today. That makes me a gay man. Then the next day, he sleeps with an attractive woman and enjoys it. "Wow, she turned me straight." This is the kind of nonsense a bisexual may think up in a homophobic world with no bi community. Obviously, that isn't going on with the bi community here on saidit, but we're a tiny minority. There are also sane bis outside of our community, but there also are a ton who are not, as is extensively documented on our sub.

[–]PenseePansyBio-Sex or Bust 3 insightful - 1 fun3 insightful - 0 fun4 insightful - 1 fun -  (0 children)

I am a bi former TRA, this is what I and several other former bi friends believed. Yes, it's anecdotal, but you can see this rhetoric embraced in bi and TRA communities.

Interesting! Would you mind expanding on this? What was it about being bi that made this rhetoric seem credible to you, and them? I assume something along the lines of the following?:

My point about "sexuality is fluid" being a bi thing is because it is. Let me explain: "sexuality" is fluid does kind of sound meaningless, but what it means is that sexuality can change. It's fluid as opposed to solid or rigid. Now, for a bisexual, one's orientation may appear to change. One day, a bi man may see an attractive man, and think, hmm I am attracted to men today. That makes me a gay man. Then the next day, he sleeps with an attractive woman and enjoys it. "Wow, she turned me straight." This is the kind of nonsense a bisexual may think up in a homophobic world with no bi community.

Yeah, the potential for bi people misunderstanding their own sexuality as "fluid", and consequently being vulnerable to trans-propaganda, is something that's worried me for a while now. Though I'd put it in slightly different terms: I think the basic problem is that we're generally not recognized-- and therefore tend to not recognize ourselves-- as a sexual orientation. And out of all the alternate explanations for being attracted to both sexes, "sexual fluidity" is among the least offensive. So it's no wonder that some bi people would opt for that as opposed to the likes of, say,"confused", "immature", "in denial", "desperate", "phony", "slutty", etc. And I hesitate to condemn them for it, since they're not doing this from a place of strength, you know? Quite the contrary. Plus, because we're already seen as a "fifth column" by all too many gay people, I'm very concerned about reinforcing this impression with talk of bisexuals being especially prone to TRA-ism. So I guess I'm saying that I want to prevent bi people from falling into the "sexual fluidity" trap without treating them as suspect. Maybe this requires creation of a full-fledged bi community? What do you think?

This is a strawman. Obviously I don't agree with TRA rhetoric. All I said is that bisexuals are the only orientation who would not be repulsed by transsexuals on the basis of their orientation, because a bisexual is not repulsed by either sex's primary or secondary sex characteristics. For example, a lesbian would be repulsed by a transsexual male because he is male, and would be repulsed by a transsexual female because she has biologically masculine characteristics, such as increased body and even facial hair and lack of breasts.

Well, I don't think that it's a strawman, given how the Q/spicy straights have shifted the very definition of "bisexual" to mean "attracted to both GENDERS" (so that a man who exclusively goes for women and "transmen"-- i.e., he's heterosexual-- can now legit claim to be "bi")... but let's put that aside for now.

It's true enough that bi people, unlike those who are gay or straight, don't experience repulsion towards the primary or secondary sex characteristics of either sex. However, I don't think it follows that bisexuals can't be repulsed by trans-ness based on our orientation. In fact, I'd argue that there’s a type of trans-repulsion which you MUST be bi to experience.

Monosexuals are essentially blind to the erotic appeal of either men or women; they just can't perceive the sex that they're not attracted to in sexual terms. So their trans-repulsion goes like this: "the sex that I'm into is either being faked (creepy), or denied/disfigured (equally creepy), and the other one-- whether fake or real-- I'm not into anyway". The latter offends them because it is inherently a turn-off, the former because it makes what SHOULD be at least a potential turn-on into an automatic turn-off. What's repulsing a lesbian about both a "transwoman" and a "transman" is, in addition to the presence of "maleness", femaleness that feels WRONG. And since she is, by definition, attracted to femaleness, this is something that she's particularly sensitive to; messing with it-- whether by making a grotesque mockery of it, rejecting it, or mutilating it-- is like fingernails on the blackboard of her sexuality. It gets her where she lives, you know?

Well... bisexuals experience this, too. But unlike monosexuals-- who can only feel this way about one sex (whichever they're attracted to)-- we feel it about BOTH. The trans person's real one, AND the one they're faking. So when it comes to this form of trans-repulsion... we alone are capable of getting a double dose.

Lol, you're not the first to assume I'm gay.

Well, if you're a guy, that's just Bi Math, right? Male + bisexual = GAY (just closeted). And female + bisexual = STRAIGHT (just slutty). Because dick = 1 and pussy = 0! HEY I DON'T MAKE THE RULES (since if I did, they wouldn't be this fuckin' stupid!). :)