That's understandable, but the huge difference here is you did not (I'm assuming?), go on to have sexual relationships with men. It was a pressure, and perhaps even fear, which kept you from admitting to yourself that you are homosexual. Again, this is what I think I can infer from the info you've given. I can't fathom "trying it out" with a male for any reason whatsoever, even when I was very lonely, sexually repressed, and curious about sex. This is where you and I differ from the bi's in our lesbian community making every single excuse imaginable to call themselves lesbians.