I’m bothered by these stereotypes as well. Not so much that they exist, because I’m fine with stereotypical gay people who are genuinely being themselves so it’s natural they’ll get represented. What I do have a problem with is the fact that oftentimes the only gays who get representation are stereotypical gays, as if other kinds of gay people don’t exist. But the reason why they’re so accepted is because a lot of gay people allow these stereotypes to persist. And it just so happens that those gays who allow those stereotypes to persist have a lot of power in the media. Plus, stereotypical gay guys and stereotypical lesbians are seen as less threatening, and you can tell right away that they are homosexual so you don’t have to think about them. There’s nothing wrong with a gay person being a gay stereotype, but as far as a homophobic person is concerned, a stereotypical gay person can be seen from a mile away, so it gives the homophobic person time to leave the area or mentally prepare for a potential interaction with the gay person. Whereas a gay guy like me looks and acts like a straight guy, so a homophobic person wouldn’t know he’s gay until after he’s been up close and personal with him, which the homophobic person doesn’t want. Plus, straight men aren’t attracted to butch lesbians and straight women aren’t attracted to sassy gays, so they’re fine with butch women being lesbian or sassy men being gay.

As for why a lot of gay people tolerate or promote the gay stereotype being the only type of gay, I’m not sure why. Maybe they think that if you’re not stereotypical you’re not fully comfortable with your sexuality for whatever reason. Maybe they associate the stereotypes with a certain culture they want all gays to be a part of, not realising that different gays have different interests and behaviours. I don’t know.