LifestyleI felt so alone around my straight friends

submitted by oofreesouloo⚡super lesbian⚡ from (self.LGBDropTheT)

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[–]reluctant_commenter 7 insightful - 1 fun7 insightful - 0 fun8 insightful - 1 fun -  (4 children)

I always felt lonely, even though I was literally with them. I felt like they didn't understand me or what I was feeling. They don't know I'm gay. I feel like its a very small part of me. I don't want to tell them, on one hand. On the other, the love topic came up several times and they cared about what I thought and wanted to know about me. They would notice I would get quiet at times... I mean I don't know what to say when the girls are talking about guys... And if I start talking about girls, they'll realise I'm gay, and I don't know if I'm ready for that. So it was honestly hard for me to feel like I fitted in.

I 100% relate to this. I thought maybe I was making a big deal out of it over nothing. I'm sorry you also have been feeling like this but I'm kind of glad I have someone to relate to, lol.

The lying by omissoon, the coming out over and over again, and so on...

Yup, same.

Does anyone have some advice or has felt the same at some point?

Like I said, definitely feel the same, even right now with my coworkers. Hmm... honestly, I'm not sure I have any good advice to give you, but I'd also love to hear. Probably one of the only ways I've been able to successfully talk about my sexual orientation with a straight friend, and feel okay about doing so, is to express frustration about politics, and the fact that a) I avoid talking about "LGBTQ+" issues because some "LGBTQ+" people are really aggressive about it, and b) I hate that (in the US) the Democratic party treats LGB people in a token way, e.g. "oh you're gay, so you HAVE to vote liberal! If you don't then you're self-hating" like I have opinions on topics besides just those affecting a demographic that I'm part of (I'm pretty liberal anyway, but it's damn condescending). My straight friends may have no clue what it is like to be homosexual/bisexual, but I've found that they can relate to those pretty well. Especially a) because it helps normalize anger at the alphabet soup people; if even someone who's LGB is sick of the LGBTQWTF++ then that says a lot.

[–]Elvira95Viva la figa 10 insightful - 2 fun10 insightful - 1 fun11 insightful - 2 fun -  (1 child)

You shouldn't tell people at your job your sexuality, that's your business. Friends is different. We live in a world which wants gays to scream to everyone their sexuality. Being discreet isn't a bad thing.

[–]reluctant_commenter 7 insightful - 1 fun7 insightful - 0 fun8 insightful - 1 fun -  (0 children)

My working situation is a little unique. I'll end up spending a lot of time with these people. But I understand your point. There is an extra element to being cautious with coworkers.

[–]oofreesouloo⚡super lesbian⚡[S] 5 insightful - 1 fun5 insightful - 0 fun6 insightful - 1 fun -  (1 child)

Thank you so much for your answer and advice. It's always great to know there's someone out there feeling exactly the same, hence this post! It was just so weird to me, because I was just so excited to hang out with them until I was actually with them and just wanted to leave because just felt out of place. Take care! Hope you're well. Oh, and I'll have your advices in mind, I'm going to wait until I build a little more trust and then I might try those!

[–]reluctant_commenter 5 insightful - 1 fun5 insightful - 0 fun6 insightful - 1 fun -  (0 children)

Of course, anytime :) I always appreciate when you make posts, it's very relatable stuff for me lol. Sometimes I hesitate to make similar posts because some people will comment "this is such a non-issue, stop worrying about it" and are in a very different place of life than I am... in some cases that is a reasonable answer but often it just comes off as dismissive.