LifestyleFeelings about large age gaps in same sex relationships

submitted by lovelyspearmintLesbeing a lesbian from (self.LGBDropTheT)

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[–]Elvira95Viva la figa 3 insightful - 7 fun3 insightful - 6 fun4 insightful - 7 fun -  (13 children)

statutory rape

17 years old is age of consent. Actually, where the movie was done age of consent is 14. Not everywhere has dumb laws treating 17 years old as unable to have sex with consent.

[–]reluctant_commenter 8 insightful - 1 fun8 insightful - 0 fun9 insightful - 1 fun -  (12 children)

Personally, I think 14 is way too young to be able to consent. I suspect this may be a cultural-based argument that we're unlikely to agree on, though. :)

[–]Elvira95Viva la figa 3 insightful - 8 fun3 insightful - 7 fun4 insightful - 8 fun -  (11 children)

In France is 13, and before there there wasn't even a consent, which was crazy. In Europe we aren't so prude about sex like americans. But yeah, maybe 14 is a bit early. 16 would be better. But saying 17 years old are kids who cannot consent is laughable. They're not kids and that has nothing to do with pedophilia

[–]reluctant_commenter 10 insightful - 1 fun10 insightful - 0 fun11 insightful - 1 fun -  (8 children)

I think of a 17 year old as a child because developmentally, they have not fully matured yet.

I am ready to bash the US like 99% of the time, lol. But having 18 be the age of consent is one of the few things I think we get right. At the very least, I think there should be some sort of limit on age range for dating at that age. 18 and 25? That's VERY likely to have a power imbalance dynamic and the potential for grooming.

[–]Elvira95Viva la figa 4 insightful - 8 fun4 insightful - 7 fun5 insightful - 8 fun -  (0 children)

17 years old is almost an adult and totally able to know what they're doing. But would find it pretty weird of a 25 years old being into someone that age because of difference in maturity level, but that doesn't imply grooming. USA the country where a 18 years can't buy a beer, but they can totally a buy an assault rifle lol

[–]ukrdude10 2 insightful - 9 fun2 insightful - 8 fun3 insightful - 9 fun -  (1 child)

17 year olds are not children, they can legally work, drive, join some military programs, and some other adult privileges. They're not fully developed, that only happens at like 25. However, that's old enough to make a sexual decision, in my opinion. At least I was capable at that age.

Also, most US states have the age of consent at 16, which is also the most common age of consent worldwide, if I'm not mistaken.

[–]reluctant_commenter 5 insightful - 1 fun5 insightful - 0 fun6 insightful - 1 fun -  (0 children)

Interesting.

  • About 30 US states have age of consent laws of 16 years old (the rest at 18 or sometimes 17), but

  • most people in the US live in the states that have age of consent laws of 18 (or sometimes 17) years old. (since most of the population is urban and not rural)

Graphs: age of consent and population distribution.

17 year olds are not children

In the US, legally they are children (although in some states they can consent as children). And personally, since you mention 25, I think most age-related laws should be higher-- we know people's cognitive function is still fully not developed even at 21, for example.

At least I was capable at that age.

I won't speak for anybody else. However, I hear transgender people I've met IRL say "I was mature enough to decide to go on hormones at 14!" and the like, so I don't really trust that phrase anymore, hahaha.

[–]theytookourjerbsXX only. 5 insightful - 1 fun5 insightful - 0 fun6 insightful - 1 fun -  (4 children)

Disagree. There's literally no difference between a 17 and 18 year old. They're still developing and I think we should raise consent to 20. EightTEEN guys, eight TEEN.

[–]reluctant_commenter 5 insightful - 1 fun5 insightful - 0 fun6 insightful - 1 fun -  (3 children)

Disagree. There's literally no difference between a 17 and 18 year old.

I never said an 18 year old wasn't a child, either. Developmentally, a human is not fully adult until 25.

I think we should raise consent to 20. EightTEEN guys, eight TEEN.

Honestly, I could get behind that.

[–]theytookourjerbsXX only. 3 insightful - 1 fun3 insightful - 0 fun4 insightful - 1 fun -  (2 children)

For the first one, my bad; I read the comment too fast. But, anyone 13-19 is an adolescent, which is INBETWEEN childhood and adulthood, and it annoys me when people (not you, because I misread) call anyone 13-17 a "LiTeRaL cHiLd" and an 18-19 year olds a "GrOwN aSs AdUlT", because those groups are BETWEEN both like I said prior. For the second one, your response is based.

[–]reluctant_commenter 5 insightful - 1 fun5 insightful - 0 fun6 insightful - 1 fun -  (1 child)

No, I feel ya. Honestly having the legal age be 18 as a "magic number" when someone is now adult is pretty bullshit. It is a shame that laws are not really informed by what we know of human development, but at least in the US we have trouble passing any laws remotely common-sense, let alone something as nuanced as different age rules according to different capabilities of that age. Lol.

For the second one, your response is based.

Haha, thanks lol. I'm not 100% sold because of implementation, but honestly I can see a case for it. I still think it's ludicrous our driving age is 16. That should be like 21 IMO.

[–]theytookourjerbsXX only. 2 insightful - 1 fun2 insightful - 0 fun3 insightful - 1 fun -  (0 children)

Yeah teenagers are not very smart on the road that for sure!

[–]VioletRemiCat, homosexual one 9 insightful - 2 fun9 insightful - 1 fun10 insightful - 2 fun -  (1 child)

France is very famous with paedos, thought. And there a lot of cases when girl was gang raped and then court is not sueing rapists, because she "gave consent and was age of consent".

Like that horrible case with team of firefighters who were grooming that girl for almost 5 years. It is horrible and very abuseable stuff and only serving paedos and males.

Historically it was always that women and girls were going into marriage at age of 10-12, while boys at age 16+, and often girls were not even chosing - they either were traded or groomed into marriages. So historically low age of consent always was hurting us as well.

[–]ukrdude10 1 insightful - 6 fun1 insightful - 5 fun2 insightful - 6 fun -  (0 children)

No, France is not "famous with pedos", you don't know what you're talking about.

The age of consent in France is 15, and that's a normal age of consent for Europe. However they don't have "statutory rape" laws. Punishment depends on the presence of coercion. So violent rape will get a much longer sentence than non-coercive sexual acts. I don't agree with that logic, especially in the firefighters case, but I'm clarifying that French society does not in any way support pedophilia, and many people want stricter laws.

If someone is above the age of consent, and there is zero violence, threats, or persuasion, then the act is considered legal, I think that's how it is everywhere.