How was Marsha gay enough to hang out with the gays and give us rights lol; but modern day transwomen sleeping exclusively with men should be considered "straight".

COMPLETELY AGREE.

Sorry for the all caps but it's so goddamn true. Like I remember first observing that when I was first figuring out my sexual orientation and wondered that about the "LGBTQ+" community, and didn't understand it. I still don't. It doesn't make sense. Is Marsha "straight," hmmm? Or is he a gay man who (maybe) fought for gay rights? How far are we gonna go, huh?

edit: Forgot to read the rest of your question, lol.

Like I am a closeted lesbian and I have never met a trans woman irl before, so is there a significant difference between the homosexual and heterosexual ones?

Yes. Yes, there is. I have met a few probably-autogynephilic trans-identified males before. Do you know what autogynephilia (abbreviated "AGP") is? Often, though not always, the transwomen who are not homosexual have a fetish about imagining themselves as women, and that's what it's called. (A few gay men have that too but it seems to be much more uncommon to find a gay man with autogynephilia.)

There were two probably-AGP transwomen I knew who were super passive aggressive. One I didn't know as well, so I can't say much about his actual beliefs. The other said sexist stereotypes, in what seemed an attempt to establish his femininity. For example, he would be like: "Omg that [50 year old professor] is so hot I want him to be my sugar daddy... I just want to not have to work, and just be a housewife and have his babies!" I heard him say this when I was getting lunch with some friends, long before I ever started questioning transgender ideology, but even back then I thought, "What the fuck?"

I understand that people are individuals but do you think they care, or are we just all terfs to them?

I think most plug their ears and go "Lalalala I can't hear any alternatives." I also think that the vast majority of transwomen have literally no idea what it is like being lesbian, so they consequently have no idea the extent of the harm that their actions are doing. The "hierarchy of oppression" in transgender ideology serves this: it says, "Trans people have it the worst so they don't have to give a shit about the thoughts, feelings, and humanity of those gross cisgender gays."

edit2: fixed a million typos/mistakes, clearly it's time for me to sleep. Lol