Naturally, it’s okay to be a gay man. It’s okay for a gay man to be gay. And it’s okay for a gay man to be a man. Well, if you want to be respected by society for being gay, then you need to embrace your manhood - or at least accept it - because you are a man who’s attracted to men.

I can never understand gay men who have problems with men in general. Or gay men who suffer from internalised misandry. The point of being a gay man is that you are a man, and you are attracted to men and to men only. I get that straight men are, on average, more intolerant of homosexuals than straight women. But that’s on average. Both sexes have segments of their population who are guilty of homophobia, and both sexes have segments who are supportive of us and will defend us. Some straight men will try to exclude gay men from male social groups, I get it, but some straight men will boycott such social groups in solidarity and invite us to their own male-only groups. We as gay men need to accept that we are men and learn to connect better with other men. Lesbians have unfairly faced abuse and even been seen as physical threats or sexual predators by homophobic straight women, but lesbians still stood with their heterosexual sisters because they accept that they are women, and they appreciate the support from heterosexual women. Very few lesbians suffer from internalised misogyny and most lesbians rightfully condemn misogyny. It’s good that gay men are kind to women and support women, but we must also do the same for other men. And thankfully, most gay men in my experience are comfortable being men and are respectful towards other men, but LGBT activists are promoting hostility and attacking masculinity, and we have to condemn this. Both men and women should be respected, and both masculinity and femininity need to be respected and promoted in order for society to function.

If you’ve become more masculine because that’s just how your personality has developed, that’s perfectly fine. Since I’ve come out of the closet, I’ve become a lot more masculine now that I’m a lot more comfortable with what I am. But it is okay to be feminine or partly feminine, partly masculine as well. If you are just a naturally feminine dude, it’s okay to be that way, and you can still be friends with straight men. And obviously, you can also be friends with straight women too. Be as masculine or as feminine as you want, as long as it feels natural for you. People like it when you’re being genuine. At least good people will. Don’t let anyone breathe down your neck on what you should be.

I can see exactly where you’re coming from, by the way. When I went back to college, I joined the LGBT club and checked out after one meeting because it was too woke. I never hid my sexuality, but I never bothered with the club. I hung out with both men and women, and I was never the gay student. My peers just saw me as the way I am.