LesbianWhy the hell do some trans-focused "lesbian" communities talk about being a "top" or "bottom"?

submitted by reluctant_commenter from self.LGBDropTheT

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[–]strictly 9 insightful - 1 fun9 insightful - 0 fun10 insightful - 1 fun -  (10 children)

I'm curios but why don't you like to be touched? It's that a control thing or something else?

Control over my own body perhaps, I’m not certain. I’ve never had any fantasies about receiving and the idea of receiving anyway makes me uncomfortable. So the way I see it, I simply choose to not consent to things happening to my body that makes me uncomfortable, and as I’m only with women who are sexually compatible with that arrangement it’s a non-issue. I think stones are stones for different reasons though so my case shouldn't be seen as universal.

[–]Elvira95Viva la figa 7 insightful - 1 fun7 insightful - 0 fun8 insightful - 1 fun -  (9 children)

It's strange. I imagine it would be a dealbreaker for most. But there are passive pillow princesses out there, like fucking a sex doll. But great for you :D

[–]strictly 7 insightful - 1 fun7 insightful - 0 fun8 insightful - 1 fun -  (8 children)

I imagine it would be a dealbreaker for most

Yes, that is why I weed those out so they can weed out me too.

like fucking a sex doll.

A sex doll can’t think, can't talk, can’t move, has no will. Not touching my private parts doesn’t make a sexual partner a sex doll and nobody I've been with has pretended to be a passive sex doll. Receiving isn't the same as being passive (and it's not the same as being submissive either, I'm not looking for being anyone's domme). I am not into casual sex so I've only had sex with women I've been in love with, so I have never regarded a sexual partner as an inanimate object.

[–]Elvira95Viva la figa 8 insightful - 2 fun8 insightful - 1 fun9 insightful - 2 fun -  (7 children)

I mean that being only into receiving is extremely passive, but again there are surely women like that. Whether they're passive or just like getting pleasure while laying and relaxing, I'm sure it isn't a problem to find someone compatible. There is someone for everyone, they say

[–]strictly 5 insightful - 1 fun5 insightful - 0 fun6 insightful - 1 fun -  (6 children)

I mean that being only into receiving is extremely passive

In that case being only into giving is extremely passive too if you are talking about the lack of versatility in wanting to give/receive. The receiver isn't necessarily passive while receiving or just laying there.

[–]Elvira95Viva la figa 8 insightful - 1 fun8 insightful - 0 fun9 insightful - 1 fun -  (5 children)

Passive as getting the act rather than doing it, that's very passive, when you only into that.

[–]strictly 5 insightful - 1 fun5 insightful - 0 fun6 insightful - 1 fun -  (4 children)

Passive as getting the act rather than doing it, that's very passive, when you only into that.

You are referring to a different thing with the word passive than I do then. I wouldn't be interested in anyone who wanted to be treated like an inanimate sex doll, that’s passive to me. But I obviously prefer being with a woman who doesn't feel deprived if she can't touch me down there as I don’t want to make anyone unhappy. In your view though, a person must interact with the genitals of their partner in order to be considered active?

[–]Elvira95Viva la figa 8 insightful - 1 fun8 insightful - 0 fun9 insightful - 1 fun -  (3 children)

In your view though, a person must interact with the genitals of their partner in order to be be considered active?

Of course, to be active you need to do the act, not being one receveing it. If a woman is only into receiving, than she's passive as fuck.

[–]strictly 7 insightful - 1 fun7 insightful - 0 fun8 insightful - 1 fun -  (2 children)

to be active you need to do the act

You are referring to specific actions, not sexual actions in general. So you think no other sexual actions count as being active, only the actions that directly interacts with the other person's genitals, right? I think that is a narrow definition of active, I get you would want more from a sexual partner, but I don't think that makes other sexual actions necessarily passive.

[–]Elvira95Viva la figa 8 insightful - 1 fun8 insightful - 0 fun9 insightful - 1 fun -  (1 child)

Well, it's narrow, but when it comes to sexual activity, the focus is on the sex act, not something else. Do you get off by yourself?