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[–]yousaythosethingsFind and Replace "gatekeeping" with "having boundaries" 21 insightful - 1 fun21 insightful - 0 fun22 insightful - 1 fun -  (3 children)

These kinds of conversations can’t happen without the anonymity of the Internet. Because you have people claiming to be trans men-loving gay men. You have women pretending to be men. If everyone was part of the same real life community, you would be able to tell that’s not a gay man and that other dude is a woman. All the gay men who just want to be supportive and say “yes ofc you’re a man” and “some gay men will want to date you for sure” would have to deal with the fact that they have an obvious women in front of them. No one would be interested in preserving these people’s feelings and “validating” their “personal truth” because they would come across as the delusional mentally ill people they really are.

[–]8bitgay[S] 7 insightful - 1 fun7 insightful - 0 fun8 insightful - 1 fun -  (2 children)

Unfortunately, I've definitely seen this type of conversation in real life too.

All the gay men who just want to be supportive and say “yes ofc you’re a man” and “some gay men will want to date you for sure” would have to deal with the fact that they have an obvious women in front of them.

You're on point here, though. Easier to say "obviously gay men date transmen", not so easy for these gay men to actually go and have sex with transmen.

[–]yousaythosethingsFind and Replace "gatekeeping" with "having boundaries" 7 insightful - 2 fun7 insightful - 1 fun8 insightful - 2 fun -  (1 child)

How old are the people you’ve seen acting like this? And is it by people claiming to be gay men who date trans men or try to convince others to?

[–]8bitgay[S] 8 insightful - 1 fun8 insightful - 0 fun9 insightful - 1 fun -  (0 children)

Late 20s and older. Unfortunately even people who aren't teens anymore are buying into the teen narratives they see on social media.

I'd say it's by both. I've heard it from bi guys who call themselves gay, but I've also heard it from actually gay guys. Even the gay guys who don't have sex with transmen sometimes say this stuff out of peer pressure, unfortunately.