Men's IssuesAny other Feminine GNC Men here? (Questions to ask)

submitted by Kai_Decadence from self.LGBDropTheT

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[–]Wos290 6 insightful - 1 fun6 insightful - 0 fun7 insightful - 1 fun -  (5 children)

Life is okay.

The truth is I've had problems of my own related to gender identity and spent a lot of time in online lgbt circles during my late teens. I guess because of this I eventually started using hormones and have been taking them since...

Unlike the woke crowd I have never really believed gender and sex are two different things. There is not even a word for gender in my language, just like in probably 99% of all languages other than english lol.

I also can't see how my sex should prevent me in acting the way I want and just being myself.

What I've noticed on the other hand, is that lots of transpeople on the internet somehow feel like they can't act like themselves unless they transition. That is, for them the thought of being gnc as AGAB is somehow less fathomable than actually changing gender. That's how you get the stereotype of a bearded masculine acting man suddenly coming out as a 'woman', doing 180 degree turn in personality and acting like a caricature of feminity. I've never understood this and the only answer I ever got was that it's because of 'gender dysphoria'. The funny thing is though that noone has ever explained to me what exactly gender dysphoria is in a coherent and understandable way.

[–]Kai_Decadence[S] 3 insightful - 1 fun3 insightful - 0 fun4 insightful - 1 fun -  (4 children)

That's because they can't explain it. A lot of the time this "Gender dysphoria" is really just something else from things like Eating Disorders, Asperger Syndrome, Autism, Body Dysmorphia, and sometimes even self-internalized homophobia. You'd be surprised what you'll hear if you actually challenge these people and ask them the hard questions. The fact that they can't even define man or woman without using circular definitions that are parallels to socially constructed gender stereotypes says a lot.

Also you want to know what "Gender" really is? Besides the phrase "Gender identity" being coined by a pedophile (Seriously look up John Money, he was the one who came up with the term and his "studies" with children, don't get me started). Masculinity & Femininity, THESE are "Gender", these are what "Gender Identity" are.

What I've noticed on the other hand, is that lots of transpeople on the internet somehow feel like they can't act like themselves unless they transition.

Yep, I've noticed this myself as well. You should really check out the Youtube Channel GNC Centric, give her livestreams a watch as well as her videos on trans talk. She really goes in depth with how this stuff really messes with you.

But yeah it's nice to hear that life has been okay for you. How has dating been? Or your social life? Did you ever deal with any obstacles while living as a feminine man?

[–]Wos290 2 insightful - 1 fun2 insightful - 0 fun3 insightful - 1 fun -  (0 children)

Yep, I've noticed this myself as well. You should really check out the Youtube Channel GNC Centric, give her livestreams a watch as well as her videos on trans talk. She really goes in depth with how this stuff really messes with you.

Thanks, I'll take a look. I'm glad this saidit exists because it seems that lately any places that commits 'wrongthink' just gets banned.

And well, my life hasnt always been that great.

I grew up in a shitty countryside village and struggled with suicidal ideation and self harm for a big part of my teens. Not much else to be said about that part of my life honestly. It wasn't until I went through my worst and moved to the city for uni till I started slowly getting my shit together.

That's also when I started dating for the first time. My back then still terrible confidence and the fact that my first romantic experience was with someone who liked feminity is prolly the biggest reason I started hormones, because I believed noone would really love me otherwise. I was also already aware of people on online forums self-medding through the internet.

Anyway, as of now I live happily together with my boyfriend of 3 years. My social life is currently not so great because of corona, but in the long run I can't complain as I've met a lot of brilliant people during the past few years.

As for the obstacles, not much I can recall other than my shitty teens. I'd like to think that it's partly because I've become a more resilient person and don't let many things get under my skin too, also that I know how to deal with people better.

[–]BiHorror 2 insightful - 1 fun2 insightful - 0 fun3 insightful - 1 fun -  (2 children)

Also you want to know what "Gender" really is? Besides the phrase "Gender identity" being coined by a pedophile (Seriously look up John Money, he was the one who came up with the term and his "studies" with children, don't get me started). Masculinity & Femininity, THESE are "Gender", these are what "Gender Identity" are.

I'mma stop you right there: the sicko coined both terms. Gender as in "societal expectations," and Gender identity. Got adopted by feminists, GC, and TRAs. Gender used to mean both sex and grammar. GNC was coined by a pro queer (funny enough, also the same chick (?) Who coined non binary/genderqueer). Reasons why I am against those things, and get annoyed when people call me "GNC." Don't use terms made from a pedophile on me. I criticized TRAs, it would be hypocritical to not criticize the other side. One thing that annoys me about some of this sub is the hipocrisy... It doesn't help that, from what I seen, normal people are starting to catch up on who coined this and the history which they're starting to get real anti-LGB and feminism real quick.

[–]Kai_Decadence[S] 1 insightful - 1 fun1 insightful - 0 fun2 insightful - 1 fun -  (1 child)

Wait so John Money coined Gender Identity and Gender? Sorry I got a little confused. From what I read it said he coined "Gender Identity" with his experiment with the Reimer experiment...

I didn't know that about GNC though. The only reason I ever called myself "GNC" is because the word "Femboy" got hijacked by Sissy Kink Fetishist people. I originally thought "Femboy" was supposed to be the opposite of a Tomboy but then when I google "Femboy', I'm bombarded with sissy/kink pornography and that definitely didn't describe me at all because femininity to me is not a kink or rather, I'm not a feminine guy because I get some sexual thrill from looking the way I do.

[–]BiHorror 1 insightful - 1 fun1 insightful - 0 fun2 insightful - 1 fun -  (0 children)

Yes, that is correct. Before him, gender was used similarly for grammar and sex. Presumably due to sex (which oddly enough was ALSO used to differentiate between the sexes, which is believed that gender was used as a euphemism for sex alongside due to sex also meaning intercourse). It fell out of fashion, which it should've stayed as such since that implies people were using sex within context rightfully so instead of the euphemism, and he repopularized it to mean society's expectations for the sexes. He also did coin Gender identity due to the experiment.

As for GNC, it's credited to gender activist Rikie Ann Wilchins (alongside Leslie Feinberg in some cases but she was more for being credited with the broadening of transgender for "gender variation"). She's known for being the founder of the 1st transgender advocacy group. Somewhere along the line, she coined "gender queer" (this is where non binary comes from) and GNC.

As for femboy, it's unfortnate that happened which I noticed too. I seen some starting to use "tomgirl" as a replacement. Femboy was used to be short for feminine boy, which when I was researching up on the terminology, was said to be used during the 1990s and began as derogatory then got reclaimed as a positive term via the internet. It became more and more sexualized as time went on (online).

Also, apologies for butting in, and made it seem like I was trying to rip you a new one. It just got on my nerves so I just wanted to point where these terms actually originated from. I'm damn near obsessive when it comes to researching terminology for w/o reason.