Lesbianon transwoman dating eachother and calling themselves "lesbians"

submitted by verystablegenius from self.LGBDropTheT

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[–]haveanicedaytoo💗💜💙 19 insightful - 1 fun19 insightful - 0 fun20 insightful - 1 fun -  (1 child)

Yeah, exactly. If a member of her audience was to question her stories, they would immediately be demonized and devalued and she would start a smear campaign about them being "crazy" or "jealous" and try to ruin them, because they no longer have any value to her, since they don't want to give her any more of that delicious validation. These TRA tactics are SO FAMILIAR to me because they are classic NPD behaviors.

I don't want to generalize about all NPD, but my mother didn't even have ONE real friend. The only "friends" she had were (my opinion as a child/teen) dumb, insecure, vulnerable women who needed a loud-mouth bossy woman to tell them how to think/feel and what to do. As an adult looking back now, probably they came from abusive backgrounds so they gravitated to my mother to repeat a pattern. But even they didn't stick around too long, because she was just so negative and toxic all the time.

[–]wafflegaffWoman. SuperBi. 9 insightful - 1 fun9 insightful - 0 fun10 insightful - 1 fun -  (0 children)

she would start a smear campaign

Been there, every time I have to stand up to a narcissistic bully. It took me a long time to develop a thick skin about the kind of retaliation they dish out for simply being told no. I have no idea what stories they tell about me since I only know what's true, but one in particular managed to turn a few of her sycophants against me such that they dropped me as a friend and one treated me like a leper at an in-person gathering. (So hey, not real friends after all—that said, I don't wish her upon them, they just don't know better yet.) That was sure fun, being innocent and treated like the guilty party. It's horrifying. Which, of course, being vindictive abusers who feel very small and powerless inside, they enjoy. Oh here's a handy acronym, btw: https://dynamic.uoregon.edu/jjf/defineDARVO.html

I don't want to generalize about all NPD, but my mother didn't even have ONE real friend. The only "friends" she had were (my opinion as a child/teen) dumb, insecure, vulnerable women who needed a loud-mouth bossy woman to tell them how to think/feel and what to do.

Pretty common. They attract butt-kissing sycophants and well-meaning gullible / nice people who don't see them coming. The latter group at least can learn. The former group—well, a lot of them tend to be narcissistic themselves. The problem is that they are more than willing to be "flying monkeys" for the narcissist and extend the reach and duration of their abuse of the target. ETA: They respond to charisma, and narcissists tend to exude it. It's an intoxicant.