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[–]yousaythosethingsFind and Replace "gatekeeping" with "having boundaries" 10 insightful - 1 fun10 insightful - 0 fun11 insightful - 1 fun -  (0 children)

When I came out as a lesbian to my brother he immediately launched into a spiel about how he is supportive and non-judgmental of gay and trans people, how his male friend once kissed a guy (??? OK), and how he has a lesbian couple friend made up of a woman and a trans woman. I had to stop him in his tracks and let him know that under no circumstances is he ever to mention the fact that I'm a lesbian to this "lesbian couple" and that I have nothing in common with a heterosexual role-playing as lesbians. After seeing so many posts like this, this is what I imagine they're like. They may otherwise be wonderful people, but they are harming lesbian, gay, and bisexual people and our public perception with this LARPing.

I was married to a guy when I came to terms with being a lesbian, and he was and still is a great guy. Nothing he did or didn't do ever factored into my self-realization and acceptance of my sexual orientation. If his actions or how I feel about the actions of any man were a factor, then it wouldn't be about my sexual orientation then, would it? Other people's actions have no ability to affect my sexual orientation. It's not a choice or a lifestyle move, goddamnit.