LesbianIn case you were wondering, this is what it looks like to misappropriate a gay/lesbian "identity" as a solution to life's problems.

submitted by yousaythosethingsFind and Replace "gatekeeping" with "having boundaries" from (reddit.com)

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[–]winterwillow 11 insightful - 2 fun11 insightful - 1 fun12 insightful - 2 fun -  (2 children)

Not related to this post (although I agree with you on this woman's motivations) but I just wanted to thank you for your posts/comments on latebloomerlesbians. I'm not technically a 'late bloomer', I realized my attraction to women at 15 and have no sexual or even romantic experience with men whatsoever, but homophobia/dysfunctional childhood kept me thinking I was bi and that I would get to dating men 'later', while exclusively dating/being interested in women. I guess my definition of bisexual was, 'I'm like everybody else and also attracted to women', not me being actually attracted to women AND men. I just assumed I was somehow. I never thought about men, I moved in gay circles in lesbian relationships, called myself queer instead of bi if a label was needed, because bi made it sound like I was interested in men. It's almost funny to think about in retrospect, denial is a powerful thing.

Anyways, in the beginning of this year I began to realize that this 'later' and a straight life would never come for me. I was assaulted by a man a couple of years ago, and reading about lesbians on lbl who were in ok relationship with men just made me very confused and caused me to blame myself even more. That it was just trauma and I should get over it. If even lesbians could marry a man, stay with him and 'be normal', surely I would be able to, I wasn't even a lesbian!

I didn't relate at all the masterdoc's ideas that you brought up, that lesbian love was easier (lol no) or cool or wishing I was a lesbian. If anything I wished I was straight! I never looked at my best friend in high school and thought we could be together if she weren't a girl, I just fell madly in love with her and she strung me along for years just to tell me she 'wasn't that way'. I also found truelesbians thankfully, and have now accepted that I'm a lesbian and have avoided all possible romantic/sexual connections with men not because I'm obnoxious, traumatized or want to be special (open-minded as you say), but because I'm not attracted to men at all.

I realize I come from a different perspective than you do, but thought I'd share. I see how a sub/checklists like that can be helpful, but it harbours a lot of misrepresentation too. I feel like lbl makes being a lesbian a choice and not only that, but a better choice, and it actually made me feel guilty for making that 'choice' without ever trying a man.

Good luck with your mission!

[–]VioletRemiCat, homosexual one 7 insightful - 1 fun7 insightful - 0 fun8 insightful - 1 fun -  (0 children)

I can't imagine how current generation girls and women are living with this transgender trends.

I am from USSR/Post-USSR, we had all homosexual information banned, no one know about it at all. When I was 18, I married on a man when I was trying to "fix myself" to become straight like everyone else. Ex-husband was great man, very supportive, very skillful in everything, very carrying and pretty handsome. However, nothing was working sexually or romantically wise. I tried my hardest, he tried to help as much as he can. And yet, nothing was working. And during romantic dates I was like "eeeeh, I guess flowers are nice". I just thought I am frigid and that is it. Later (after divorce) I slept with a woman and it was so much different, my blood was pumping, and my feelings were absolutely different, so I realized that I just love women and only women, and my mind can't change it, regardless of how much I will try to lie to myself.

And I can't think of me living with that right now. Now all info about homosexuality is easy accessible, but because of transgenders it is so twisted and confusing. What if after divorce I went reading reddit or PinkNews? And then find that "lesbians are living with men and happy"? I would start hating myself even more for "being wrong" and trying even more to be with men, and that will be just self-torture. Maybe I would even tried to transition to transmen if it all happened right now. After all I was cosplaying a boy (and later a goth boy) for years, cutting my hair very short, thinking it will make my life easier and will justify my sexuality at least somehow.

All this craze is so harmful for girls and young women, especially for lesbians who are nowadays so agressively misrepresented and forced to love girldicks.

[–]reluctant_commenter 4 insightful - 1 fun4 insightful - 0 fun5 insightful - 1 fun -  (0 children)

I guess my definition of bisexual was, 'I'm like everybody else and also attracted to women', not me being actually attracted to women AND men. I just assumed I was somehow. I never thought about men, I moved in gay circles in lesbian relationships, called myself queer instead of bi if a label was needed, because bi made it sound like I was interested in men. It's almost funny to think about in retrospect, denial is a powerful thing.

I was exactly like this too!! Wow. Only difference is I never called myself queer. But I definitely remember sitting there thinking: "I don't want to call myself bisexual because that implies I am into men.. but I am into women so I am definitely going to call myself bisexual!" Lol. The idea of calling myself lesbian didn't even occur to me for ages.