"I want to be in the LGBT community too!"

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[–]Shinjin_NanaNopes faster than an Aeldari Jetbike 26 insightful - 2 fun26 insightful - 1 fun27 insightful - 2 fun -  (13 children)

if you want to fuck someone, ever, you're NOT asexual.

That word does not mean temporarily celibate by choice or otherwise. It does not mean needing an emotional connection to want to fuck. It means just not interested in fucking.

[–][deleted] 18 insightful - 2 fun18 insightful - 1 fun19 insightful - 2 fun -  (2 children)

For real, wtf. Some people want to fuck less than others but it doesn’t mean they are asexual. Lol

[–]Shinjin_NanaNopes faster than an Aeldari Jetbike 10 insightful - 1 fun10 insightful - 0 fun11 insightful - 1 fun -  (1 child)

It's like, heterosexual, otherwise normally sexual people are looking to shoehorn themselves into LGB.

As an ace I don't even think that ace is LGB unless they're romantically same sex attracted (such as two ace women, two ace men, or bi in a non-sexual relationship) and then it's not the asexuality it's the same sex attraction. Not every movement is for everyone, no matter how they stretch it.

[–]INeedSomeTimeAsexual Ally 6 insightful - 1 fun6 insightful - 0 fun7 insightful - 1 fun -  (0 children)

As a fellow ace I also agree. We have AVEN as our community.

Also the idea of spectrum always infuriated me. Imagine being asexual but when you read these asexual forums they feel like normal sexual people talking. I think I feel even more of a weirdo because of these spaces than because of straight people.

[–]Wandering_Idiot 2 insightful - 2 fun2 insightful - 1 fun3 insightful - 2 fun -  (9 children)

So if you are bisexual you are only allowed to be 50/50 attracted to both sexes? Or do some people swing a bit more gay or strait than others? Like being bisexual asexuality is a spectrum and demisexual fall into it. The biggest difference I guess from me simply being bisexual is that I literally default to having no physical attraction to people... like at all. People even very beautiful people get the same sexual response from me as lamp, painting, or any other aesthetically pleasing object. I'm 33 and I've only ever been sexually attracted to 4 people in my entire life, and I didn't have sex with any of them.

[–]Shinjin_NanaNopes faster than an Aeldari Jetbike 16 insightful - 1 fun16 insightful - 0 fun17 insightful - 1 fun -  (8 children)

Bisexuality is about being attracted to both sexes, not a percent swing. When a bisexual person dates the same sex they do not become solely gay or more percent gay, they stay bisexual. (this is my understanding as a non-bi person. If I have it wrong let me know)

Asexuality is about not being sexually attracted to anyone, or wanting to fuck anyone. It's not a percent swing. If you feel sexual attraction at all you are not asexual. You are celibate by choice because your libido is low or you have other hurdles to forming a sexual relationship, but can form one. If you say in your head that you could see yourself fucking if the right person with the right relationship came along, you're not asexual.

There's nothing wrong with that. It just doesn't make you asexual. Not everything is on a spectrum. Demisexual is not a thing, you're just sexual with a low libido. We don't need to granulate or Balkenize definitions to death so your hetero and sexual relationships can have their own special feelz identity.

I'm nearly 40 and have never felt sexual attraction. In high school I quasi-dated a guy my sister set me up with I had no feelings for, it lasted less than a month and never did that again. I felt no attraction and we did nothing sexual, so I know what I'm talking about.

[–]florasisHOMOSEXUAL FEMALE/Pussy is my God and I'm monotheist 4 insightful - 1 fun4 insightful - 0 fun5 insightful - 1 fun -  (1 child)

It's a bit sad not being able to enjoy the sexual pleasure and passion, but you also much more free than most people. Need of sex and romance kind make you dependent on others.

[–]Shinjin_NanaNopes faster than an Aeldari Jetbike 3 insightful - 1 fun3 insightful - 0 fun4 insightful - 1 fun -  (0 children)

I guess I never thought about it, so I don't miss it.

The closest thing I can compare is thinking about finding another asexual person to safely be around as an emotional partner, but it's just not worth dealing with.

I would agree that we're less dependent on others, just by virtue of having fewer needs that others fulfill for us.

[–]INeedSomeTimeAsexual Ally 3 insightful - 1 fun3 insightful - 0 fun4 insightful - 1 fun -  (0 children)

The thing with asexuality is just feeling no attraction. Like, when I see stories of gay people about when they realized they are gay they always bring up a sort of innate feeling of liking people of the same sex - even if during childhood it didn't have a sexual character at all. Even stories of straights include this innate feeling. Like straight women saying they are very annoyed by men but they can't help what they feel to them. It's very counterintuitive to me to despise a certain group but still being attracted to them. When I think about myself I have never felt this innate feeling. This feeling, which somehow everyone recognize as "yes! I like boys/girls/both!". I have no idea who I like. Or it's accurate to say everyone are just meh to me and has always been from the beginning.

[–]Wandering_Idiot 1 insightful - 1 fun1 insightful - 0 fun2 insightful - 1 fun -  (4 children)

I mean you are kind of proving my point that most people see demisexuals as bisexuals. Also spending like 5 seconds googling will show you many sources saying that demisexuality falls under the asexuality spectrum. It's not like I just made this shit up.

[–]Shinjin_NanaNopes faster than an Aeldari Jetbike 5 insightful - 1 fun5 insightful - 0 fun6 insightful - 1 fun -  (3 children)

Um, yes, they're making this shit up. Just because some turd made it up online DOESN'T MEAN IT'S TRUE

Words. They have meanings. It's not like we walk around smelling toast and stroking out.

Asexual is no sexual attraction.

Sexual is sexual attraction.

Bisexual is attracted to both sexes.

Homosexual is attracted to the same sex as yourself.

Heterosexual is opposite sex of yourself.

That's it. It's LITERALLY that simple. There is no spectrum.

And no, demisexuals don't exist. If you're bi then you're bi. I don't get what's so hard about this.

[–]Wandering_Idiot 1 insightful - 1 fun1 insightful - 0 fun2 insightful - 1 fun -  (2 children)

Just because some turd made it up online

Is that what we are calling Psychologists and Psychiatrists now?

[–]Shinjin_NanaNopes faster than an Aeldari Jetbike 2 insightful - 1 fun2 insightful - 0 fun3 insightful - 1 fun -  (0 children)

apparently, if they think asexuality is a spectrum.

I mean they're transing children and sending them to get their body parts chopped off. You really trust the shit that's coming out of their collective mouths?

Here's a better way to think about it:

You can be attracted to both sexes (bisexual) regardless of your relationship status. You can be in a homo or hetero relationship, which doesn't change the fact that you're attracted to both sexes.

It's not the same for asexuality. Either you experience sexual attraction or you don't. You can't be both at the same time, as in bisexuality. You can't both have sexual attraction and lack sexual attraction at the same time

If an otherwise sexual person goes through a long period of abstaining from sex (for whatever reason) they do not become asexual. Same with a bisexual person, regardless of what relationship they are in, stay bisexual because it's about being attracted to both, not the relationship they're presently in. They don't 'become gay' if they're in a same sex relationship.

I have a feeling you do no understand asexuality, as most people don't because it doesn't apply to you. Demisexual SHOULD mean that you are ~sexual~ with a low libido. It does not and never will belong to asexuality because ~it specifically involves and defines when you feel sexual attraction~.

......And if you feel sexual attraction at all... you. are. not. asexual.