This post is locked. You won't be able to comment.

What's the general consensus on sexuality being a choice?

submitted by SexualityCritical from (self.GenderCritical)

sorted by:
top
newinsightfulfun
you are viewing a single comment's thread.

view the rest of the comments →

[–]lefterfield 1 insightful - 2 fun1 insightful - 1 fun2 insightful - 2 fun -  (2 children)

would this mean that political lesbianism is not real lesbianism?

I think that if two women are in a loving, sexual relationship, they are lesbians. Real or fake does not factor into it, and you may be overthinking this.

which couldn't be the case, as I wasn't always sexually drawn to men

Not true. Some genetic predispositions are activated at puberty. If you had a predisposition to be attracted to men, there's no reason it would feel anything except natural, whenever or however it happened.

I can't stand the thought of someone telling another that one can't be a lesbian or a gay man because they don't possess genes which apparently exist.

This is ridiculous, and not related to what I said. I don't believe that sexual attraction is chosen, consciously. This does not mean that someone cannot choose with whom or how they have sex, for whatever reason. I can't see into someone's heart or mind, and I don't care to. I posited one theory about where sexual attraction stems from. I have no way of knowing if a gay man or lesbian or heterosexual has any particular genes or what their sexual motivations are - and I don't care. People can choose any way they want to express or not express their sexuality.

I don't understand what your argument is, you seem to be throwing out a lot of different ideas, many of which are not related. My own view is nowhere near as rigid as yours, so I don't know what you're reaching for here.

[–]usehername 5 insightful - 1 fun5 insightful - 0 fun6 insightful - 1 fun -  (0 children)

I think that if two women are in a loving, sexual relationship, they are lesbians.

A lesbian is a female homosexual. If two women are in a relationship, and one or both women are bisexual, they aren't lesbians. A woman can't be in a loving, sexual relationship with another woman unless she is bi or homosexual. Words have definitions.

[–]SexualityCritical[S] 1 insightful - 2 fun1 insightful - 1 fun2 insightful - 2 fun -  (0 children)

What genetic predispositions in question? The only way someone can be sexually attracted to someone or something legitimately, is if they admire something/someone from a (socially constructed) sexual perspective. Anyone can have such perspectives, as they relate to individual beliefs people hold.

I like guys because I relate to guys the best, since most of my friends were guys, and I was socialised in the male image. That socialisation is, of course, problematic, just as femininity is, but, ultimately, my reason for liking men sexually is because men have the same perception of sexual desire as other men, as opposed to the conflict of the male gaze meeting the female gaze.

You yourself said that if two women are in a romantic/sexual relationship with one another, they are lesbians. They can choose this path in their life because they can understand that members of the female sex cooperate better with one another, as opposed to with men.