It honestly depresses me that more and more women are opting out of being women.

submitted by questioningtw from (self.GenderCritical)

I miss the days of women can do anything a man can do; and actively being angry at men for wanting women to hyperfeminine. I miss the days when a girl that climbed trees and played with cars was just that. I am tired of other feminists acting like transitiioning is beautiful or a good thing and no one should ever question it. I know I am preaching to the choir here, but lately it is just really upsetting me. I honestly worry that we are going to see less and less strong women, because they can just be men.

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[–]MarkTwainiac 48 insightful - 3 fun48 insightful - 2 fun49 insightful - 3 fun -  (3 children)

The reality is, they only think they are opting out of being women. Time and age will show them they can't escape their biology.

[–]LasagnaRossa 18 insightful - 1 fun18 insightful - 0 fun19 insightful - 1 fun -  (0 children)

Exactly. You can't opt out because you didn't opt in in the first place.

[–]QueenBread 8 insightful - 1 fun8 insightful - 0 fun9 insightful - 1 fun -  (0 children)

Exactly.

[–]distortedlinds 3 insightful - 1 fun3 insightful - 0 fun4 insightful - 1 fun -  (0 children)

thank you!! i love seeing you comment you have such a brilliant voice of reason. <3

[–]Greykittymomma 41 insightful - 3 fun41 insightful - 2 fun42 insightful - 3 fun -  (4 children)

Not only that but now we have trans men that get to opt out of "being a girl" but still can give birth when convenient for them. Trans women get to tell us how it "feels" to be a woman when they were men for decades. I have been continually silenced by these two groups of attention seeking assholes and I've had it.

[–]cinnaflo 26 insightful - 3 fun26 insightful - 2 fun27 insightful - 3 fun -  (1 child)

"Trans women get to tell us how it "feels" to be a woman when they were men for decades."

It's mansplaining 2.0

[–]distortedlinds 3 insightful - 1 fun3 insightful - 0 fun4 insightful - 1 fun -  (0 children)

oh lord! too true you are. D: this shit is reaching horrifying levels, for someone to say this isn't damaging to females is blind to the reality of things to unfold.

[–]Calliope 12 insightful - 1 fun12 insightful - 0 fun13 insightful - 1 fun -  (1 child)

I once knew someone who was a trans man except when being female was convenient for college roommate requirements.

[–]distortedlinds 3 insightful - 1 fun3 insightful - 0 fun4 insightful - 1 fun -  (0 children)

wait what? can you explain more there?

[–]jjdub7Gay Male Guest Commentator 32 insightful - 1 fun32 insightful - 0 fun33 insightful - 1 fun -  (10 children)

You can't opt out of biological sex. The thing that should be worrying is the terrifying increase in mental health issues that are driving people to think this gender-gnostic bullshit is a cure-all for their personal anxieties.

[–][deleted] 16 insightful - 1 fun16 insightful - 0 fun17 insightful - 1 fun -  (4 children)

Weird, time-wise, it all aligns with the advent of social media and push for personal devices. I'm curious, 20 years from now, how many internet-identified personality disorders there are.

[–]distortedlinds 3 insightful - 1 fun3 insightful - 0 fun4 insightful - 1 fun -  (3 children)

shit, i mean aren't we already seeing that? i personally believe this is all from the internet, period. i mean, it is, right?

[–][deleted] 4 insightful - 1 fun4 insightful - 0 fun5 insightful - 1 fun -  (2 children)

I think so. Though I read an article the other day that was already trying to pin the current youth generation's coming mental health problems on covid-related stress, and I just think they'll avoid the reality of internet damage for far too long, because it's the modern cirque, and trying to get society off their phones/online will be next to impossible.

[–]distortedlinds 1 insightful - 1 fun1 insightful - 0 fun2 insightful - 1 fun -  (0 children)

you really said it best, its not fucking Covid...its the destruction social media and the WWW has done to humanity.

[–]Skipdip 1 insightful - 1 fun1 insightful - 0 fun2 insightful - 1 fun -  (0 children)

So true. I can’t get off this fkn thing. Especially now with COVID though, there’s not much to go to. Ah humanity, we can do it you gyns 😭

[–]Finnegan7921 14 insightful - 1 fun14 insightful - 0 fun15 insightful - 1 fun -  (3 children)

It isn't an increase, it is self-diagnosis and the acceptance of such self-diagnoses that is the real problem. how many people run around posting, for all the world to see "I have anxiety", "I'm OCD", and my absolute fucking favorite, "I'm an introvert"...people who have never seen a mental health professional... yet the world just accepts it b/c if someone tells them to buck up and deal with things, you're a monster.

I commented on an AITA post where a teenage girl "came out" as non binary, and the OP laughed b/c the OP isn't a moron. I defended OP and well, you know what happened next.

[–]jjdub7Gay Male Guest Commentator 12 insightful - 1 fun12 insightful - 0 fun13 insightful - 1 fun -  (1 child)

Imagine if this level of encouragement was given to other psychic epidemics that impact young women, i.e. anorexia.

And then imagine once they literally begin starving to death, the legacy media wondering incredulously who was "murdering" all these women?

[–]Finnegan7921 5 insightful - 1 fun5 insightful - 0 fun6 insightful - 1 fun -  (0 children)

I can just see a doctor saying "look, you just have to accept her truth.." to a set of parents as their daughter starved to death, or cut herself repeatedly, or binged and purged......that would go well. /s

[–]BiologyIsReal 7 insightful - 1 fun7 insightful - 0 fun8 insightful - 1 fun -  (0 children)

I agree that self-diagnosis is wrong, however, you can't self-diagnose as an introvert because introversion is not a mental illness.

[–]distortedlinds 2 insightful - 1 fun2 insightful - 0 fun3 insightful - 1 fun -  (0 children)

Y E S !!!! exactly

[–]threefingersam 30 insightful - 1 fun30 insightful - 0 fun31 insightful - 1 fun -  (1 child)

I feel some sympathy when teenage girls try to run away from being women. But if they're grown-ass adults like 30yo women, not so much.

[–]Skipdip 2 insightful - 1 fun2 insightful - 0 fun3 insightful - 1 fun -  (0 children)

Honestly, I feel for them too. My grandma is 85 and still is perpetually dieting and worrying about looking young. I used to be like “how can adults get sucked into this”, but then I realized that patriarchal conditioning never really goes away unless we really do the work.

[–]LeaveAmsgAfterBeep 23 insightful - 1 fun23 insightful - 0 fun24 insightful - 1 fun -  (2 children)

I got out of it, I’ve known many women who did. They will come around, but a lot of people are not read to deal with their own traumas and how things are. Many will eventually. People miss out on the fact that it’s not quite as simple as “not like other girls,” they ignore the social aspects, guilt aspects, indoctrination, misogyny, lesbophobia, mental illness, personal trauma, etc. All have to be dealt with depending on the person- (though not to 100%) to be able to move forward* and realize they were trying to protect themselves, or appease someone.

[–]Skipdip 7 insightful - 1 fun7 insightful - 0 fun8 insightful - 1 fun -  (1 child)

I appreciate you sharing that. It aligns with my intuition that it is a place for an individual to escape, to avoid processing the trauma of it all. A healer mentor of mine says “if someone says they are not ready to wake up, believe them” Waking up is not for the feint of heart.

It’s interesting you say “to appease someone”. This same mentor friend of mine said “At the end of the day people just want to connect, they will do whatever they feel they need to to accomplish this”.

[–]LeaveAmsgAfterBeep 3 insightful - 1 fun3 insightful - 0 fun4 insightful - 1 fun -  (0 children)

I will say I have connected with other women who desisted from the gender shit after a period of claiming to be a neo gender. One thing I found pretty common was that some stated not just pressure from homophobic or misogynistic families, but also friends who were overly encouraging and in some cases legitimately threatening for some to disidentify. I see a lot of what I have read echoed throughout my experiences in real life with gender teens/adolescents as well as on social media where the gender shit was strong, and how many are clear cut examples of whatever the concept of ROGD will end up being called once its actually got more research time. The gender shit is a negative force that seeks to consume the insecure, it gives them something to bond over and has legitimate social factors. The threats the lesbian community received over it on individual level sometimes, or at least the forced application of these identities onto some of us- is also pretty telling what the motives of some of these people really are about (control of others).

[–]censorshipment 12 insightful - 1 fun12 insightful - 0 fun13 insightful - 1 fun -  (2 children)

Agree with every word. I just joined a tapatalk women's forum (because I'm permanently suspended from Reddit, and my new accounts are shadowbanned within hours... why? "Misandry"... men are a vulnerable group nowadays) had to explain what gender nonconforming means. Someone assumed I can't be gnc and a woman/lesbian. The conversation started because I was asked to go by a Christian name, and I said I prefer a name that isn't feminine. It sucks that gender conforming women assume I'm a damn man because I don't conform.

[–]nautilistic 3 insightful - 1 fun3 insightful - 0 fun4 insightful - 1 fun -  (1 child)

It's a loss for all men and women, for society at large, when non-gender-confirming people believe they have to transition to the opposite sex. It narrows down and restricts the definition of what a man or a woman can be and will lead to more internal struggle for people growing up.

[–]Skipdip 3 insightful - 1 fun3 insightful - 0 fun4 insightful - 1 fun -  (0 children)

Abigail Shrier in a podcast with Megan Murphy said that even this concept of “gender non conforming” is a bit fked up when being good at math makes a girl gnc. We are really backtracking our parameters for what “gender conforming” means.

[–]QueenBread 11 insightful - 1 fun11 insightful - 0 fun12 insightful - 1 fun -  (5 children)

As another commenter already explained: they're not opting out of being women. They're opting out of LOOKING like women.

[–]JustWhy 9 insightful - 1 fun9 insightful - 0 fun10 insightful - 1 fun -  (4 children)

Unfortunately that is not the case either. I know far too many that enjoy ultra feminine fashion and makeup, hair but love to scream about how they are a boy.

[–]MarkTwainiac 4 insightful - 2 fun4 insightful - 1 fun5 insightful - 2 fun -  (0 children)

Yes, that's true - some don't even try to look "masc," it's a just a claim they make, they can't be arsed to do the cosplay.

Also, so many of these girls and young women today who are claiming to be boys/men or no sex seem to think they somehow pass as males, when they really don't. At all. When they get older and have full beards and lose their hair, they are more convincing. Still, there are so many tells. But so many of the girls I see on YT and elsewhere who think they come across as boys don't at all. I'm often embarrassed for them.

Finally, even if Ellen Page takes lots of T, it's not gonna change the fact that she has very delicate facial features and is tiny in every way, barely 5'1 with tiny hands and feet. Even when Page supposedly has dressed "butch" - meaning wearing a suit jacket and tie, or a big shirt and jeans - she has always looked 100% female. Just as Annie Lennox and Grace Jones did when they had close-shorn hair and wore suits & ties, and just as Sinead O'Connor did when she had a shaved head.

[–]QueenBread 1 insightful - 1 fun1 insightful - 0 fun2 insightful - 1 fun -  (2 children)

I know far too many that enjoy ultra feminine fashion and makeup, hair but love to scream about how they are a boy.

Oh, those are just following the recent trend. How old are you by the way?

[–]JustWhy 1 insightful - 1 fun1 insightful - 0 fun2 insightful - 1 fun -  (1 child)

Late 20's but I have seen this since 5 years ago. It started with the then late teens who are now in their mid 20s, but I also unfortunately know people in their late 20s and early 30s like this. It seems to just not stop with age.

[–]MarkTwainiac 3 insightful - 1 fun3 insightful - 0 fun4 insightful - 1 fun -  (0 children)

But late 20s and early 30s is still in the early phase of life. Female life expectancy in many countries is now edging on 90. In the US, the average female life expectancy is 81+ years, higher for white women, lower for black women. Many young women today can reasonably expect to live 50 or 60+years past their 30th birthday.

[–]Skipdip 10 insightful - 1 fun10 insightful - 0 fun11 insightful - 1 fun -  (1 child)

I feel the same way. Women not standing in their power as women erodes our set of role models. It seems like part of this greater denial of femininity that happens among men. Now women do it too.

What we women really need to do to heal is connect with sacred femininity, our female bodies, as painful as it can feel to be associated with it.

[–]distortedlinds 2 insightful - 1 fun2 insightful - 0 fun3 insightful - 1 fun -  (0 children)

amen....or awomen (Sorry corny i know)

[–]ColoredTwice 6 insightful - 1 fun6 insightful - 0 fun7 insightful - 1 fun -  (0 children)

In this period of intense misogyny and attacks on anyone remotely GNC they are just trying to run away from constant attacks for "not being woman enough" and sexism. Companies and charity organisations are advertising and promoting "very safe" and "working" way to opt out of the opression. So they are chosing it. And if they were hated and blamed every day before for not shaving legs - now they are praised for it, if they were called not feminine for being gnc woman, now they are praised for being gnc man. Breasts are removed - so no more male gaze, paedos around and discomfort. Testosterone is natural anti-depresant and improving mood at start. So choice seems to be correct to them at first. And life becomes so much easier first few years. Misogyny leads women to do this to themselves, just to escape it. They all are just victims of it.

[–]Isoleri 4 insightful - 1 fun4 insightful - 0 fun5 insightful - 1 fun -  (0 children)

There's an ad that came out in my country not long ago by a pad company about "celebrating the uterus and womanhood". Said ad was very realistic, showing women with cramps, mood swings, some that were unaffected, heavy flows, a bit of everything, honestly. But at one point they showed a transman, and at first I thought "Well, of course they did" since my country has a sort of fetish with trans people, but what surprised me and then saddened me was that the comments in YouTube were very few from women celebrating their womanhood, while the vast majority was of women claiming to be trans and "loving the inclusion". There were even little girls claiming that! Some comments read, with broken grammar/orthography and all, as a child would "i cant wait to for the day i get my period even if i am a trans boy" and holy shit, no, you're a little girl, why are you already thinking like this? But it surprised me just how many women were claiming to be men, has the number really increased that much? Why? It's honestly so sad.

[–]distortedlinds 2 insightful - 1 fun2 insightful - 0 fun3 insightful - 1 fun -  (0 children)

you're not alone.