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[–]MarkTwainiac 9 insightful - 1 fun9 insightful - 0 fun10 insightful - 1 fun -  (5 children)

Then they hit puberty and start growing breasts. Suddenly she needs to cover up because of these things on her chest. Now her male friends treat her differently and older men start getting weird around her, hitting on her, telling her things that were just fine when she was little are now 'unbecoming' and 'not ladylike'. She's not dumb. She knows it's because she's female.

Yes, all this happens.

But something else sometimes happens too. Fact is, little girls who are fortunate to grow up with close, supportive, doting fathers, uncles, brothers and other decent older males in their lives often feel profoundly and suddenly rejected by these male figures when they start visibly developing secondary sex characteristics.

Often the men in little girls' lives who truly love them are NOT sexually interested in the girls once the girls enter puberty; nor do they necessarily see the girls now as lesser or start imposing sex stereotyped behavior standards on the girls. It's that they see their beloved little girls now as budding "young women" with obvious sexual characteristics - and as "gentleman" who honestly have the girls' best interests at heart, these decent men and older boys back off almost instinctively and try to establish boundaries so as to insure they never seem inappropriate with, or disrespectful to, the girls.

So a girl who always/often sat in daddy's lap and enjoyed snuggling with him; loved wrestling and having tickle fights with her older brothers; and spent lots of private time hanging out alone with her favorite uncle (doing things like fishing, listening to his jazz records, and learning from him how to whittle, tie knots, spit tobacco, drive a stick shift and use power tools) suddenly finds herself cut off from all this positive male attention and affection.

Now Daddy stiffens involuntarily whenever she tries to sit in his lap and even brusquely pushes her off his knee, and now on weekends when the younger kids in the family all pile into the parents bed to snuggle with dad as they've done for years, she's told she's too old. Now the older brothers she adores won't wrestle or roughhouse with her, tickle her or let her hang out in their bedrooms anymore. Her fave uncle who was teaching her about fishing, the jazz greats, knots, wood carving, spittoons, manual transmissions and power tools suddenly is always too busy to spend any special alone with her any longer.

The males in these sorts of scenarios aren't rejecting or scorning the young girls in their lives, nor do they necessarily look down on them. These decent males are trying to protect and be respectful of the girls. But the girls themselves still perceive the changed behavior of the important male figures in their lives that come at/after puberty as a profound and deeply wounding and disorienting rejection. And in my experience, most girls who get what they see as the sudden "cold shoulder" from previously loving, doting, affectionate males in their lives at/after puberty often experience this change as a profound rejection and a great loss that's injurious to their sense of self and self-worth even when their dads, brothers, uncles etc try to explain why their behavior has changed.

And of course, at exactly the time in life that young girls experience a loss of attention and affection from older males in their lives who truly care about them, these girls now find themselves getting all sorts of new kinds of attention - some of it gross and pervy, some of it just insistent and invasive, overwhelming and perplexing - from tons of other males who now see the girls as dating prospects, dehumanized sex objects, wank fodder, breeding stock and social inferiors.

[–][deleted] 5 insightful - 1 fun5 insightful - 0 fun6 insightful - 1 fun -  (3 children)

Very true. I didn't grow up with a close relationship to my male family members so I overlooked this. It's a shame that the decent guys have to pull away because of that.

[–]MarkTwainiac 3 insightful - 1 fun3 insightful - 0 fun4 insightful - 1 fun -  (2 children)

I wasn't trying to find fault with you excellent original analysis. Was just trying to add a layer that doesn't get acknowledged or discussed much.

[–][deleted] 2 insightful - 1 fun2 insightful - 0 fun3 insightful - 1 fun -  (1 child)

No worries! I didn't see it that way. I wanted to point out that aspect never occurred to me (and why), so it was a welcome addition.

[–]MarkTwainiac 3 insightful - 1 fun3 insightful - 0 fun4 insightful - 1 fun -  (0 children)

I've often wondered about the role that paternal distancing perceived as heartbreaking rejection by a once-doted upon daughter might've played in the very different way Atticus Finch is portrayed in Harper Lee's two American novels about him and Scout.

In "To Kill A Mockingbird," Scout is a little girl and the apple of her dad's eye - and she in turn perceives and portrays her dad in a favorable light, as a paragon of virtue, a progressive and an anti-racist. In "Go Set A Watchman," Scout is 26, now goes by her birth certificate name Jean Louise, and she sees her dad Atticus in a much more negative light. In her adult eyes, Atticus is a racist segregationist who believes that "states rights" give the whites who control and live in the US Southern states should not be bound by the rulings of the US Supreme Court, and that the federal government should not intervene in the South on behalf of black people's civil rights.

I know that both novels were written when Harper Lee was an adult, and that "Watchman" was written before "Mockingbird," though "Mockingbird" is the only one Lee chose to publish. "Mockingbird" came out in 1960, and "Watchman" was only published 55 years later - after Lee's death, without her consent and perhaps against her wishes.

One of the things that really struck me about the two books is that the POV and feelings of Scout/JeanLouise towards her father seem to have shifted enormously from one book to the other, as Michiko Kakutani noted in the NY Times:

"Somewhere along the way, the overarching impulse behind the writing also seems to have changed. Watchman reads as if it were fueled by the alienation of a native daughter—who, like Lee, moved away from small-town Alabama to New York City—might feel upon returning home. It seems to want to document the worst in Maycomb in terms of racial and class prejudice, the people's enmity and hypocrisy and small-mindedness. At times, it also alarmingly suggests that the civil rights movement roiled things up, making people who "used to trust each other" now "watch each other like hawks

"Mockingbird, in contrast, represents a determined effort to see both the bad and the good in small-town life, the hatred and the humanity; it presents an idealized father-daughter relationship (which a relative in Watchman suggests has kept Jean Louise from fully becoming her own person) and views the past not as something lost but as a treasured memory."

[–]missdaisycan 3 insightful - 1 fun3 insightful - 0 fun4 insightful - 1 fun -  (0 children)

very quiet thank you