"Post op mtf regret ADVICE REQUEST Hi I'm a post op mtf for about 7 years now... My wife and family stood by me, and after a very tough ride life has settled. I however am coming to miss my old life, my normalness and lots of my old male things.

I am sick of make up, sick of hair removal and sick of clothes. I now live in just vests and tracksuits, I spend most of my time at my allotment anyway but my dressing up days are long gone. I only wear foundation as my face is red and blotchy from years of electrolysis or plucking. I am so so fat even through I eat well and run/dig my allotment lots. And since my surgery I have been so run down and ill, like my immune system is screwed.

Before I transitioned I was into vintage male fashion, braces, pin striped suits and lots of dancing. And lots of hats, fedoras, trilby etc.

I just feel lied to. Since a young age I have always thought I 'should have' been female. Yet even now I still feel I should have been female not that I am female.

I felt rushed through the nhs, I had no councilling or support, I feel I have detransitioned in all but law and name as I am scared. I just wish I could be just me and blend in and be normal. Is this possible?

My children love me being their other mum, but my son feels lonely being the only boy in the house. I am scared detransitioning will cause them more hassle like the abuse we got when I transitioned.

My wife also stood by me lovingly through it all. She learnt electrolysis, she has spent years removing my facial hair And yet it still keeps growing.... I feel I would let her down going back after all her hard work.

I am also scared incase I mess my mental health up only to retransition although I doubt I would. I distrust doctors so much now.

I had full grs but don't really care about that, I dislike my chest, feeling perminatly tired and weak. Sick of hair removal, it feels like trying to stoo the tide coming in. I think I am also quite scared that detransitioning will be like dropping if a cliff edge in speed. Eg I sound male, I can be read as both male or female so I honestly don't think it would take much to fit back in. I do quite like having long hair tho, I have always had long hair since 13yrs and I'm now 38.... But a short hair cut would speed up the process.

Sorry for the long burst, just lots of pent up fear.."