"Women catering to men is so normalized that NOT treating men as a priority in your life is considered an attack on them"

submitted by [deleted] from self.GenderCritical

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[–][deleted] 21 insightful - 2 fun21 insightful - 1 fun22 insightful - 2 fun -  (2 children)

"although I would instinctively want to I would not, because I'm trying not to spend any effort/time on males"

I think this is why her friend called her extreme. Inaction is one thing, but going out of your way to not do something is another thing entirely. It would be like not going to Walmart because there isn't one in my area and I have no reason to find one (inaction) vs driving to a store that's out of the way because I'm purposely avoiding Walmart for whatever reason (going out of my way to not do something). If her initial reaction is to help but she suppresses it, that's not passive inaction. That's actively avoiding it.

This reads like she goes out of her way to not help males, no matter the circumstances. She even said she's "trying" not to. She's putting effort in to not spend any time/resources on men. It would be one thing if she wasn't expending any emotional/financial labor on men beyond what's necessary for healthy interpersonal relationships. But she's actively avoiding giving any male any help for any reason. And that does strike me as a bit over the top.

[–]tuesday 4 insightful - 1 fun4 insightful - 0 fun5 insightful - 1 fun -  (1 child)

Inaction is one thing, but going out of your way to not do something is another thing entirely.

er, I thought the definition of "inaction" was literally "not doing anything"...? I'm confused.

It would be like not going to Walmart because there isn't one in my area and I have no reason to find one (inaction)

exactly, that's what the woman did in the given example. She had no reason to reach out her hand in order to open a door, so she didn't.

vs driving to a store that's out of the way because I'm purposely avoiding Walmart for whatever reason (going out of my way to not do something).

er, this doesn't seem right to me... A better comparison to your analogy would be, "she didn't want to open the door for the disabled man who was right in front of her but she did walk across the parking lot in order to open the door for the able-bodied woman".

[–][deleted] 3 insightful - 1 fun3 insightful - 0 fun4 insightful - 1 fun -  (0 children)

Maybe "inaction" was inaccurate as far as word choice, but the point is when this woman says she's simply "not doing anything" it doesn't fit here.

"She had no reason to reach out her hand in order to open a door, so she didn't."

She did have a reason though: the desire to help. Wanting to do something is a reason. She admitted herself that she'd want to help but would squash that urge if the person in need was a man.

You can say my analogy doesn't work but the motive is the same. In one case I don't go to Walmart because I have no desire or reason to. However in the second situation I have the urge to go to Walmart but I suppress it, resulting in either staying home(which might look passive on the outside but it is not the same thing) or driving out of the way to a different store so I don't have to shop there. One is passively doing nothing. The other is active avoidance.

This woman is actively avoiding helping men no matter what, and suppressing her altruism in a way that I see as unnecessary. Thinking that way often promotes hatred and resentment.