What are the things about being a women men can never grasp

submitted by midgetmetalhead19 from (self.GenderCritical)

sorted by:
top
newinsightfulfun
you are viewing a single comment's thread.

view the rest of the comments →

[–]JoanofArc5 64 insightful - 1 fun64 insightful - 0 fun65 insightful - 1 fun -  (8 children)

The instinct that we have for our safety, and that the instinct teaches us to be afraid of men.

I went swimming at a lake recently and I was wearing kind of a sexy bathing suit (I lost the other one). The best rock to swim off of had a group of like 20 guys on it.

Going to the same rock wearing a bathing suit was never going to be an option for me, I wouldn't even consider it. My evolutionary wisdom tells me ABSOLUTELY NOT. We went to the other side and entered through an area that was harder to walk on.

Some men can get that if you explain it to them, but they will never have the internal instinct for it. They also don't realize that male expressions of anger (yelling, throwing things, slamming things) are TERRIFYING.

It's a reason that we can't have men in our vulnerable spaces. If our locker rooms are filled with men, women will stop going to the gym. And that will have measurable economic and social impacts.

[–]msteacherlady 34 insightful - 1 fun34 insightful - 0 fun35 insightful - 1 fun -  (0 children)

Not to victim blame, but I'm absolutely astonished at some of the decisions transwomen make in this regard. Their male socialization truly is showing. Of course, many of them will fare better than I would in the same dangerous situation. The TiMs I actually know in person will boldly enter bars, street fairs, clubs and parties dressed like prostitutes and then be surprised when they're treated horribly. I know many on the internet feel this treatment is validating, but the ones I knew didn't find it as validating as they did frightening. Like, no shit. Men are dangerous. I will acknowledge they also have the added danger of most hetero men freaking the fuck out when they discover the woman they're hitting on is a man. It's like, don't you think? Men get used to just bullying their way through situations rather than avoiding them altogether.

[–]luckystar 26 insightful - 1 fun26 insightful - 0 fun27 insightful - 1 fun -  (3 children)

The other day my husband seriously asked me why I don't wear clothing with cleavage in public, only around the house. Like he just had no idea that it could be dangerous at worst and unpleasant at best to go out in public dressed a certain way.

[–][deleted] 10 insightful - 1 fun10 insightful - 0 fun11 insightful - 1 fun -  (2 children)

I had an outfit I felt really confident in, and tried to go out in public in it once. It was a really cute gothic black dress with more cleavage than I usually show (but within normal public range). Never. Again.

[–]MadLass 8 insightful - 1 fun8 insightful - 0 fun9 insightful - 1 fun -  (1 child)

Good lord I went bike riding in a very plain dark blue sleeveless romper and even got catcalled and whistled at by some college kids including women! I stared at myself forever in the mirror when I got home wondering what it was about this outfit and I still have no idea as its not even that short. I remember picking it out for the reason it seemed casual.

[–][deleted] 6 insightful - 1 fun6 insightful - 0 fun7 insightful - 1 fun -  (0 children)

I was wearing nike shorts and a tshirt on the bus. This guy WOULD NOT stop staring at my thighs. So I placed a middle finger on my thigh for the rest of the bus ride. He definitely noticed. He couldn't have gotten mad though because he was the one looking, no one else noticed it lol

[–]3MistersAndAMissy 7 insightful - 1 fun7 insightful - 0 fun8 insightful - 1 fun -  (1 child)

I am so sorry that you feel you need to justify wearing the ‘sexy swimsuit’ because the other one was dirty. Hugs.

I think your comment illustrates how we feel we have to explain ourselves all the time, especially if our safety is in question.

[–]JoanofArc5 3 insightful - 2 fun3 insightful - 1 fun4 insightful - 2 fun -  (0 children)

You're right - I did feel like I had the justify it. I was also wearing it because I was out with my boyfriend. It's true that this bathing suit is typically reserved for banya days, not outdoor activities (I prefer a more sporty one for like...hiking things). But I was still excited to wear it with my boyfriend.

Thanks for catching this. I'm usually unapologetic about my sexuality.

[–]xxPhoenixRising 4 insightful - 1 fun4 insightful - 0 fun5 insightful - 1 fun -  (0 children)

Always hyper aware of my surroundings and it's automatic. Never get out of the car until the garage overhead door is closed. Walking at night with keys between your fingers and purposely getting cross body bags to keep your stuff safer (you're still a target for robbery though...usually by a man). If I leave a store, I'm always scanning my surroundings to make sure I'm not being followed.