Women who overcame their internalized misogyny, what is your experience?

submitted by Mencantbewomen from (self.GenderCritical)

I unfortunately still have a hard time when it comes to internalized misogyny and i think some positivity could go a long way.

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[–]censorshipment 10 insightful - 1 fun10 insightful - 0 fun11 insightful - 1 fun -  (0 children)

I personally haven't experienced self-hatred... I've always hated misogyny, sexism, (compulsory) heterosexuality, bisexuality, and heteronormativity. I've always hated how women's attraction to men is so divisive. I hate how women who choose to be involved with men want equality, not liberation. Generally speaking, of course.

Before the BlackPillFeminism sub was banned (before the first ban wave), I read that Korean (iirc) feminists believe in the 4 NOs: No men, No marriage, No sex, No children. This lifestyle allows women to have a clear path to liberation.

There's a radfem documentary on the babyradfem_tv YT channel that touched on how mothers with sons left feminist groups because their sons weren't welcomed. Of course mothers whined about it, but liberating the female population should be more important than raising sons.

[–]sisterinsomnia 9 insightful - 1 fun9 insightful - 0 fun10 insightful - 1 fun -  (0 children)

Overcoming it is a marathon, not a hundred meter dash, at least for me. But progress does happen during the long slog, and now I have better skills of spotting what is going on and the change comes quicker and stays. So the positive message is that each revelation can be a step further toward an unbiased view of the society.

[–]jet199 7 insightful - 1 fun7 insightful - 0 fun8 insightful - 1 fun -  (1 child)

Don't expect you can be kind to yourself if you are judgemental and cruel towards other women. Be tolerant to difference, that includes mental differences which means women might not be neat, nice, thoughtful or quietly spoken as you. You could actually be being ableist or culturally insensitive because you assume your version of femininity is what a good woman should be when actually it's a myth. Remember humans are group animals so different people have different strengths so we are all stronger together. Every personality trait can be positive or negative depending on the situation and how it's used.

If you are a person who is already always kind to other women ask yourself why you treat yourself so differently. Why are you so special you get judged differently to everyone else.

[–]fuckingsealions 5 insightful - 1 fun5 insightful - 0 fun6 insightful - 1 fun -  (0 children)

This was a big part of it for me... starting to rethink my perceptions of other women. I always think of women as humans first without making snap judgments. The media encourages us to excoriate other women, or acts like bad things happen to women in a vacuum (the classic headline: "Alleged Rape Victim" comes to mind here. WHO raped her?).

For me it's not about making men the bad guys instantly, but dumping those dumb stereotypes of women media forcefeeds us. I've been enjoying the podcast You're Wrong About because they revisit stories of women the media made hay over. I'm not saying they get it 100% right, but it's encouraging empathy in how I view all women.

[–]worried19 5 insightful - 1 fun5 insightful - 0 fun6 insightful - 1 fun -  (0 children)

I don't have any great tips, but I also struggle with this and look forward to other women's replies.

[–]Jalaces 2 insightful - 1 fun2 insightful - 0 fun3 insightful - 1 fun -  (0 children)

I had internalized misogyny that manifested as "not like the other girls" because I resented girls who liked looking more feminine than me, wearing makeup and heels, etc. I developed a close friendship with another girl who was very feminine in her appearance and had interests in fashion and perfume as well as her other interests that we had in common. It made me realize how our culture uses things like makeup and heels to not only objectify is for men but also to make it harder to see each other as real people. I never had a romantic relationship with her but it was the closest non-romantic relationship I've had with another woman and it made me feel more comfortable with my lack of feminine trappings. It was almost like we had a butch/femme dynamic that made it ok for me to inhabit the butch role outside of a lesbian relationship. After that I was much less threatened by other women wearing dramatic makeup or so-called feminine fashion. The solidarity is what matters.

[–]LasagnaRossa 1 insightful - 1 fun1 insightful - 0 fun2 insightful - 1 fun -  (1 child)

Does anyone care to give me examples of internalized misoginy? I'm not sure what it means.

[–][deleted] 1 insightful - 1 fun1 insightful - 0 fun2 insightful - 1 fun -  (0 children)

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Internalized_sexism