And it is but only in the sense of social suicide, spite will keep me alive if nothing else.

You are enough, just as you are. You may have committed "social suicide", but in a year you will have completely moved on. Seek out the detransitioners on Twitter. They are amazing.

Sooner or later the lid is going to blow on this entire thing, I know it’s going to be people like me, Elle Palmer, Ryan Barnes, et al the detrans community, forging the way.

The lid is beginning to blow already. It takes bravery, like what you've shown.

How am I supposed to keep going knowing what I now know?

Here's how. You wait. Don't be nasty to anyone you used to know. Don't shout at them and try to get them to see your truth. They will see it eventually. Give your time and attention to people who uplift you. When your former friends have the same epiphany you had, they will seek you out and then you can help them.

You are strong. Stay safe and try not to despair. Turn despair and anger into productive activity. Create words, art, change.