(Saidit) PEAK TRANS I: Please continue to share your stories!!

submitted by Irascible-harpy[M] - announcement from self.GenderCritical

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[–]bellatrixbells 5 insightful - 3 fun5 insightful - 2 fun6 insightful - 3 fun -  (4 children)

Excuse me but your comment makes it sound like most people with cluster B personality disorders turn out to be predatory and even rapists and that is both totally incorrect and wildly offensive. As someone with a diagnosed cluster B personality disorder, I've attended therapy for several years and I can assure you that I have never met anyone who was predatory, and certainly no rapists. Antisocial and, to a given extent, narcissistic personality disorders can definitely cause people to be "creeps" but if your point was right then probably a quarter of the people on this planet would be a predator or rapist. Also given that most people with BPD and HPD are women, that would mean most of those predators would be females. That's not right at all.

[–]Feather 9 insightful - 1 fun9 insightful - 0 fun10 insightful - 1 fun -  (3 children)

And given that most people with BPD and HPD are women

...and that a whole lot of them got that way because of the trauma of sexual abuse in childhood...

that would mean most of those predators would be females. That's not right at all.

Agreed.

I'm glad you took a moment to point this out.

[–]bellatrixbells 4 insightful - 1 fun4 insightful - 0 fun5 insightful - 1 fun -  (2 children)

I'm not sure where you're getting that from, but in my experience, at least with BPD and GAD patients, I've never heard anyone bring up something remotely close to sexual abuse during childhood. Sexual abuse, mostly by partners, comes up often but it's mostly as an adult and has a lot to do with a tendency to be promiscuous.
I believe sexual abuse in childhood might be more likely to result in an anti social personality.
I'm sorry if I'm appearing pushy, it's just I feel like there's a lot of cliche thinking about our realities and it kind of bugs me when I read statements like this.

[–]Feather 7 insightful - 1 fun7 insightful - 0 fun8 insightful - 1 fun -  (1 child)

It seems we've had different experiences. I shouldn't have generalized to such an extent.

I can at least say that most people with BPD with whom I've interacted in any extended capacity described experiencing CSA (whether they recognized it as that or not). The stats don't back up my anecdotal experience that it is surely most of them, but the stats do back up that it's more common than in the general population:

https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC5248407/#sec1-3title

40% minimum depending on the study.

Of course, CSA is neither a necessary nor sufficient condition to set up a child for developing borderline later. Many people who experienced CSA don't develop borderline, and CSA is also not necessary in order to develop borderline. But one thing I can say for sure is that I've literally never encountered someone with borderline personality disorder who was not abused in some way as a child.

But I think the main risk factor for developing BPD is having a parent with untreated BPD, because of a mix of genetics, the parent modeling BPD coping mechanisms for the child, and the unfortunate fact that BPD coping mechanisms are a fairly rational way for a young person to respond to being owned by someone with untreated BPD. And so the cycle continues...

CSA does seem common in people with NPD, but my completely anecdotal experience is that sexual abuse is more likely to result in BPD than NPD - at least in girls.

[–]bellatrixbells 5 insightful - 1 fun5 insightful - 0 fun6 insightful - 1 fun -  (0 children)

Hey that was some very interesting insight ! It's funny that our experiences would be so different. Seems some misunderstanding went on here.
I could never not concede that every one individual with BPD I have ever encountered didn't go through some form of abuse in childhood. After all, BPD WAS defined to me by each of my therapists as a set of patterns developed following strong relationship trauma anyways and family relationships are the first and most important ones in shaping a person's mental state. In my personal experience it's not such a cliché at all that the abuse usually comes from an unstable mother, in most cases a very controlling, anxious mother. I'm certainly no exception and I am personally convinced that mine has BPD too. My (male) best friend, who I also suspect has it, had a similar relationship with HIS mother, who also checks most cases. I don't know about genetics, since both our mothers come from effed up family dynamics that seemed more influenced by our oppressive national Catholic heritage, but the idea that BPD can totally be caused by an untreated BPD parent is definitely a plausible factor for me.
I agree with the rest of your suggestions, seems you're pretty on point :) I'm sorry I underestimated you :)