Not my gendercritical

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[–]medium_tomato 19 insightful - 1 fun19 insightful - 0 fun20 insightful - 1 fun -  (7 children)

I wish there was a sub where both men and women could discuss the issue. I know we hate men dominating our discussions but I am against alienating them from our cause. Men also peak. I wish they could discuss these issues with us and between themselves. I don't want to be like the SJWs who say sit down and shit the fuck up if you aren't XYZ.

[–]hellamomzilla 25 insightful - 1 fun25 insightful - 0 fun26 insightful - 1 fun -  (0 children)

There entire internet is male-friendly. And, in my day-to-day life, I am happy to discuss most things with most people, regardless of sex. But GC was a haven where women were centered. One of the few, frankly. And, yes, transidentifying men are still men and it wasn't our job to keep arguing the same thing over and over. THAT'S why GC wasn't a debate sub.

[–]GenderCriticalOnly 11 insightful - 1 fun11 insightful - 0 fun12 insightful - 1 fun -  (5 children)

Well, we had GenderCriticalGuys and GCdebatesQT, which were more like that. We just need a space where women can talk about this stuff without being shouted down, or having their socialisation exploited.

[–]medium_tomato 4 insightful - 1 fun4 insightful - 0 fun5 insightful - 1 fun -  (4 children)

I totally agree that we need our own space. But I also wish we had something like Gender critical all where both men and women can talk about it and support each other about this issue.

[–][deleted] 10 insightful - 1 fun10 insightful - 0 fun11 insightful - 1 fun -  (1 child)

The issue with this is that men dominate the conversation with opinions and privilege. That was the entire point of the GC sub: uplift solely womens voices and intelligence. How is that not obvious? It amazes me that people keep parroting the whole "yea lets welcome men into our spaces!" when literally that ideology is what allows men to take over our words and our subreddits.

Yes men peak and deserve to talk about things, thats why we had GCguys and GCDebates.

[–]badMADam 5 insightful - 1 fun5 insightful - 0 fun6 insightful - 1 fun -  (0 children)

I don't get it either, as if there aren't places to discuss these topics together (we even had some men ppst on GC or women post on GCG), or as if we were soo hard on males. Libfemmy sugarcoating and coddling of male egos did NEVER actually get us anywhere. So why do some women need to associate themselves with males all the time, as if discussing and being with "only" women for once isn't enough for them? A group being mainly female always has a very special dynamic, and if enough women can make positive experiences with such groups this can be very empowering for them and their self- confidence. This helps them in participating in mixed spaced as well. As a young woman, I hardly had this chance any more in real life. I absolutely hate it when some women turn up and moan about the lack of males, as if we need their validaton and authority all the time.

[–][deleted] 1 insightful - 1 fun1 insightful - 0 fun2 insightful - 1 fun -  (1 child)

You feel it would be helpful to be able to talk to men about these things too, at least someplace if not here in this sub?

[–]medium_tomato 2 insightful - 1 fun2 insightful - 0 fun3 insightful - 1 fun -  (0 children)

Yes I absolutely do. I think it's not worth discounting all men on this. There are some gay men that can see the flaws in the tra ideology, straight men who have encountered the pressures of dating trans, and even some others that have peaked for other reasons. I'd love it if there was a separate sub for gender critical for both sexes.

[–]DangerJelly 16 insightful - 1 fun16 insightful - 0 fun17 insightful - 1 fun -  (3 children)

This did happen a couple of times on GC though... it was WILD how many women were like "no you're totally welcome here" like no, stfu and go to GCGuys and make it into a useful sub. It was wild. And EVERY TIME a man would comment some long, stupid thing where he repeated himself 50,000 times and only talked about his own experience he would just close normally but every time a woman came in with a short, insightful story or question she would be like "i'm so sorry if this isn't the right place, let me know, sorry this is so long, I know it's annoying" like. Really puts things in perspective.

[–]Syphii 12 insightful - 1 fun12 insightful - 0 fun13 insightful - 1 fun -  (0 children)

I loathed all the posts/comments in r/GC with "As a man..." or "I know I'm not supposed to post here but..." it was usually heavily upvoted with women falling over themselves saying men were welcome to post at GC. It didn't use to be like that and I'm hoping s/GC doesn't do the same. Men do not belong in GC for that exact reason.

[–]badMADam 7 insightful - 1 fun7 insightful - 0 fun8 insightful - 1 fun -  (1 child)

It is also noteworthy that the male comments usually got very much upvoted, and if some of them would happen to make useful or insightful comments some women would also write things like "This is the most intelligent thing I have ever read" when women already made those points before (Litterally! I have really seen this over there!) I think a lot of women are still conditioned to see males as some sort of intellectual authority, and they do not want to question themselves enough about their interlalized sexism. When a male shows some sympathy for women, even if just performative, these kinds of women are gushing because they feel so validated by a man, and it seems that this is the most important thing for them. i don't mean to demean those women because they pften aren't aware of their responses, but people need to be more self- aware about those things especially in feminism (or when dealing with other conditioned behaviours and reactions like with racism). You want to change something in the world? Do some really hard self- questioning first. Sorry about my English at the moment, I am tired.

[–]DangerJelly 3 insightful - 1 fun3 insightful - 0 fun4 insightful - 1 fun -  (0 children)

(side note- it is so often people whose first language is not english apologize for their english- yours was perfect! Wouldn't have known you weren't a native speaker until you said so. Although I am just now considering this is probably because the internet likes to jump on typos or grammatical issues without first considering if the poster is a native speaker... but I digress). Completely spot on, thank you for adding this. Sometimes the stuff they said was useful but again- they were taking over a space that wasn't theirs and the complete lack of unified response by women was detrimental. There were really only a few women there who had done the kind of critical self-examination you are talking about, and it was so frustrating to see them downvoted because "we need men for this to succeed"... like yeah but we need men to actually DO stuff not just post online all day about how they really get it now (and illustrate how much they don't get because they are still posting in a women's space!)

[–]WrongToy 12 insightful - 1 fun12 insightful - 0 fun13 insightful - 1 fun -  (0 children)

Please utilize the report button in these situations.

[–]DustyKitten[S] 10 insightful - 3 fun10 insightful - 2 fun11 insightful - 3 fun -  (0 children)

Drops mic I'm out. Peace

[–]homeless-g_c-mod 10 insightful - 1 fun10 insightful - 0 fun11 insightful - 1 fun -  (0 children)

Ahahaaha. Yes. Please report and we'll do what we can. Saidit has some limitations reddit did not.

[–]hellamomzilla 9 insightful - 1 fun9 insightful - 0 fun10 insightful - 1 fun -  (0 children)

Oh, we had the second one at Reddit, too. It's usually the brand-new who haven't seen the regular attempts to seek validation with supposed kindness instead of hostility. But it's just the other face of the same boundary-crossing trans coin.

I got you, though.