Today I realized that I am willing to lose my job and reputation over this. I will not be silenced.

submitted by yoperreosola from (self.GenderCritical)

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[–]AlissonHarlan 3 insightful - 1 fun3 insightful - 0 fun4 insightful - 1 fun -  (4 children)

Yes of course we should speak up. The question is HOW. How interract with people (men) in a constructive way ? I mean, i don't want to be the good girl, but i don't think power is the right solution (you know, like when it's a family dinner, everybody yell at everybody, and nobody listen) I think one key is understanding. unfortunately, most people don't want understand. they want only lives in echo chambers. So that's where my reflexion is, now.

I'm on men subreddit, because i want to understand them, understand their point of view, what seems unfair for them, and how they suffer from patriarchy, too. I'm sure that some men do that,too, to see the women's side, but there is so much 'casual mysoginy' still... it's so normal for most of the people, they did not even realise... But yes,... today i ... i'm mad. About double-standards, about how much the typical redditor hate women, I feel so defeated as a women... i mean if reddit can do that, who can't ?

yeah sorry for the vant, so speak, yes, but with the right words, in the appropriate way (that's all the difficulty) to reach your public (men for the majority)

[–]writerlylesbian 8 insightful - 1 fun8 insightful - 0 fun9 insightful - 1 fun -  (0 children)

look, that is an admirable goal. But men are not harmed by patriarchy. They benefit from it. Yes, even the ones who are lower down the hierarchy. If men wanted to change things, they would. They hold all the power in being able to bring about change if patriarchy were so bad for them. Men enjoy stringing women along and making them think that if things are explained just that little bit better, they'll see the light. They're wasting your time and energy. Sure, there may be common ground on things like being anti-censorship, since certain groups on the left and right are both suffering from that right now. There might be common ground around protecting children, protecting female-only spaces (even if the base reasons for doing so are different). That's fine. Just don't mistake any of that for supporting women's liberation.

[–]fogellegof 2 insightful - 1 fun2 insightful - 0 fun3 insightful - 1 fun -  (0 children)

My solution is to speak on a rational level. Most of my (closer) friends are somewhat political, but not 'SJW' or TRA. In the last 2 months, I had four very long talks with four of them; it organically came to the topic and then my rad fem introduction 101 began. All were lengthy talks, and each time, my friend(s) were pretty shocked about what it really means if there are no rights and there is no safety based on sex left. All of them had the usual position ("everyone should live their best lifes freely") before, like me and many others here, until I pointed out on which points the lines are crossed and that the safety concerns of 51% of the population are being ignored for catering mens feelings. Those were very emotional discussions and I peaked all of them, and now it is wonderful to speak freely with them. And now that I've opened their eyes, at least two of them often come to me with issues or observations and especially the JKR case re-peaked them, because they saw what's happening with their own eyes.

[–]Themagicalmidget 1 insightful - 1 fun1 insightful - 0 fun2 insightful - 1 fun -  (0 children)

Pretty much this, so many issues can be solved if people with different views stop attacking each other and just listen for a bit. But forming echo chambers won't help. We live all inhabit this planet together in real life, thus we should a bit online as well.

[–]yoperreosola[S] 1 insightful - 1 fun1 insightful - 0 fun2 insightful - 1 fun -  (0 children)

That is my approach with people who genuinely want to learn, but it's really hard to explain my 5 years' worth of learning feminism to people who are just dipping their toe and have a short attention span. I feel like we have an even harder job because the majority is not on our side so we have to be super clear with these people. I won't stop though! I try my best not to sound angry and self-righteous.

All logic and reasoning goes out the window with people who say you deserve going to the gulag and incite violence. (happened to me today)