Just about every actual lesbian (aka female with exclusive attraction to other females) is going to laugh at the absurdity of the premise because no way are lesbian relationships some blissful paradigm devoid of sexism, misogyny, and unrest. We’re with women because women alone make us hot and wet. I think it is true that if I didn’t live in an society where I saw exclusively heterosexual couples growing up it wouldn’t occur to me to try to be with a man romantically and sexually. But not because we’re so different we can’t get along. The family members I’m closest to are men, as are a lot of my close friends.

I had one relationship with a man who I married and we were compatible in so many ways and remain close friends. The relationship was much easier overall. But I wasn’t attracted to him and I had to suppress a huge part of myself to remain in that relationship and leave myself unfulfilled. Leaving that relationship was hard and I can’t say my life is necessarily better now. I just feel more right with myself, in touch with my body, and have a fulfilling sex life. I’m in a relationship with another woman and there is a lot of mutual understanding because we’re both women, but there are also tensions too, and that’s not just because same-sex relationships are not fully accepted in society.

Sometimes you need more yin to your yang. I don’t think any sexual orientation is more natural than another and I hate ascribing more value toward any sexual orientation.