i can interpret "accept as a man or woman" in two ways. 1) accept that their sex has changed, which is a problem because it's a denial of facts, or 2) to treat as man or woman, which equates to asking for special treatment because as someone who is against sexism i make it a point to treat men and women as equal as possible as far as my unknown biases will allow.

separate from the "we're relabeling your orientation for you or you're transphobic" having this conversation with a friend brought up my biggest issues with trans theory.

at the point when the unreasonable demand to treat men and women differently was placed on me, i was 100 percent for twaw, couldn't give a shit about bathroom segregation assuming problems would be dealt with, didn't really engage in how rapey stealthing is because i'm attracted to semen ejaculators so if someone else decided it was their prerogative to stick their dick in random people they don't know the history about that's not really for me to criticize.

no problem with pronouns, off loaded some overly ambitious pants that were going to waste. just simple principles of being polite and respecting people with mental illness made most hypothetical online discussions about what pronoun irrelveant, because who wants to be an asshole.

so, bascially, my friend insisted that it was a problem that i did not see her "like a woman." this didn't come from any kind of rejecting her as a woman, but 100 percent on her part her trying to push gender ideology onto me. over the course of a tooth-pullingly painful conversation she made it clear that if i did not sort men and women by gender and conceive of them differently according to their gender and get a different gendered impression of each group that i was inherently transphobic.

i feel like "some people are males, and some are females. some people like to switch the social role to that of the other sex and approximate their sex. let's help them fit in, like, give them some awesome pants, because they obviously either don't have they best constitution to resist cis gender indoctrination or have sex dysphoria, both of which seem pretty deserving of sympathy." seems like i was going more than halfway when you factor in that the idea that men are men ways and women are women ways is just a method of capitalist control.

but then when she came at with me with the demand that i see her "as a woman" she was also making the demand that i see all females assumed cis as women, and i refuse to do that. to me seeing someone as a woman is just a bunch of nonsense that is layered on top of female bodies and that nonsense should be dispelled. unless she was literally asking me to forget that she was male.

i think it's kind of messed up to list basic facets of being respectful and then impose gender onto them.

to answer what you might not realize, no sex can not change. on the sex side, to see a trans woman as a cis woman is moronic nonsense because she is a trans woman. category 1) women who were born male. caterogry 2) women who were born female.

to ask is the category of women who were born male and the category of women who were born female the same category doesn't make sense as a question. the answer is there in the question. they are categorically different.

so i can only assume, that, she is not trying to convince me that her genotype switched.

so the only other option to accepting her as a woman, would be to have a gendered category of women to slot her into, and as much as i love her, i'm not doing that to other females. also, i'm trans and her concept of being accepted as a woman involved misgendering me and redefining my sexual orientation as well.

she serioulsy thought that i should have broad categories of gendered association for males and females simply so that i could slot her into the female one. that's really messed up. that's basically the opposite of everything every progressive person has ever fought for.