Language is a reflection of a collective way of thinking, and if words have the power to influence or shape some aspects of reality, it's not surprising that people would try to manipulate them in order to make people think or see things differently. That's probably the easiest way that a person might be able to influence reality, or another person's perception of it. I'd never really considered it until just now, but it's almost like a form of gaslighting on a grand scale, forcing people to question their understanding of the words and concepts of 'woman' and 'man'.

It’s kind of confusing to me how tras try to separate sex and gender but disregard that separation to validate themselves or just simply don’t understand that woman/man aren’t genders. They did a great job of pushing to separating the two, but cause harm by saying gender= brain, sex=genitals. because that’s not what gender means or has ever meant, so the implication always seems to be gender is your mind and reliant on the roles/stereotypes you prefer- which is incredibly regressive and sexist.

It's like so close yet so far off the mark. Gender has to be a thing that represents being sexed in the brain (that sounds terrible, if I think of a better way to word that I'll change it) because then gender becomes a biological affair and can be considered at least as valid and important as sex, if not more. One would think that if one recognizes a difference between the two then they would disregard the stereotypes or see that gender is an illusion.

My point is still that reality is what it is regardless of how someone interprets or perceives it. That doesn’t mean we all behave the same, as human experiences will always vary vastly, but it does mean that some things just are and aren’t true, no matter what. To put it in the context of this sub- TW can claim to be female, they definitively aren’t, and that will always be provable. The reality is, some TW can appear to be female and or change their legal documents to female, and argue that they are “legally female”- which... I have a lot to say about that, but it’s not untrue. But the reality also is that legally or not, appearing so or not, they still aren’t actually female human beings.

I get what you’re saying about not being able to tolerate reality- but frankly, as insensitive as it is to say, that’s a personal problem, and the solution to that inability should not be to force everyone else to conform you what you’d prefer reality to be, that’s invasive and violating, particularly when it’s so easily proven that what someone may prefer reality to be is not factual.

It certainly is an individual problem to be unable to accept reality, and it's one that shouldn't be forced on everyone else. I understand and appreciate GC efforts to reinforce and encourage acceptance of reality, because it is literally delusional to be out of touch with reality and believe untrue things in the face of evidence. Making peace with the way things actually are should really be a solution and goal for people with gender dysphoria and/or cross-sex identification, and it would do well to help such people that way as opposed to just going along with false or harmful beliefs. It seems better to shatter the illusion. As you say, there can be truth in something like being "legally female" while still not being female, and as long as that's acknowledged, then there shouldn't be any problems with that.

I sometimes wonder if this whole “trans umbrella”, non binary, trans gender thing is an attempt to make people who aren’t trans (either actually transsexual or the large umbrella of anyone who is gnc and agrees to be labeled trans even if there’s no real reason to) think that there are more trans people in the world than there are, as an attempt to normalize being trans or avoid exactly what I’m saying- that the trans community is too small to warrant the demands they are making. If there are more trans people acknowledged, maybe they think it will make more sense to bend to their wants and needs, if that makes sense? When, to me, it seems that when trans just meant transsexual, there were less issues between trans people and people who aren’t trans. It seems easier to say “trans(sexual)women make up a small percentage of people, and they need a certain degree of compromise to be safe” than to say “anyone who identifies as a woman is one, and they deserve access to whatever space any woman would have access to, and they are entitled to having their sense of identity affirmed and not questioned.” The former kind of encourages protection of a small and vulnerable group*, the latter just tells women to deal with any male/man who demands inclusion and access to our spaces.

I absolutely love your theory, I think maybe you're not far from the truth. It seems like there really wasn't that much controversy and pushback when the conversation was more reasonable, but it's no surprise that now that there are so many more people who self-identify as trans or become trans that the demands are growing because there are accommodations and exceptions being requested that transsexuals never would have or wanted to ask/demand before. It's funny that there are so many trans people wanting to be recognized as trans and being so vocal about it when that just seems so counterintuitive to transitioning, or at least what transition was meant to help with originally. It makes me wonder if it's because they don't want to or just can't blend in as the sex they want to be seen as. It's incredibly annoying and frustrating to have the worst problems that trans people face revolve around petty things like preferred pronouns and the idea that it's transphobic to acknowledge sex. That's just embarrassing to me. I don't blame anyone for being fed up with gender ideology and trans people because of how nasty people are getting over rather trivial things, then further demanding more to the point of violating others' rights and space; the behavior is psychopathic.

I would hope it's helpful to set better examples. A new therapist I'm seeing wanted to start a support group for trans people, and she asked me to participate and help lead it with her (hence my post a bit back about leading a group!). I'm very uncomfortable with it because of bad experiences I've had, but I'm trying to use it as an opportunity to set a better example by being completely honest and frank (in a nice way), acknowledging sex and trying to keep these poor kids grounded (they aren't children, I'm just older than most of them). I see the positive feedback loop of unquestioning affirmation happening there, it's very weird and worrisome, it's evident how people can become removed from reality more and more with this 'soft' brainwashing.