All: If you had to lead a trans support group, how would you do it?

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[–]MarkTwainiac 6 insightful - 1 fun6 insightful - 0 fun7 insightful - 1 fun -  (5 children)

It would depend on the purpose of the support group. What is the group providing support for ? Is the group meant to support trans people's belief that they are the opposite sex & to support them in taking more & more extreme measures to "transition"?

Or is the group meant to support trans people coming to terms with reality, learning better coping skills, developing more self-acceptance & self-esteem, having better mental health and campaigning for their rights as a distinct group?

Alternatively, is the purpose of the support group meant to foster trans people's feelings of victimization & powerlessness by recounting all the slights, injustices & hate they believe they've experienced - and by rehearsing & reliving the toxic emotions that go along with all that?

[–][deleted] 1 insightful - 1 fun1 insightful - 0 fun2 insightful - 1 fun -  (4 children)

I didn't have anything particular in mind, perhaps something more affirmative. But if you would entertain how you would operate the three different types of groups you mentioned, I would be very curious to know how you would run things in each circumstance.

[–]MarkTwainiac 4 insightful - 1 fun4 insightful - 0 fun5 insightful - 1 fun -  (3 children)

Obviously, I am not equipped AT ALL to lead groups in the first and third circumstances. I'd come across like the despised mother, Nurse Ratched, Dolores Umbridge, the Wicked Witch of the West, the abusive nun in Sister Mary Ignatius Explains It All For You, & Joan Crawford with the wire hangers all in one. I'd be shouting "oh get over yourselves! And take the fucking trash out too." Which would not go over too well.

In the second circumstance I perhaps could lead groups. In the late 70s to early 90s I led self-esteem groups (but for women, not for trans people). But back then, I almost always worked with a co-leader with different views to my own, & that's what I would do today. I think we all need checks & balances as well as different communication styles. A criticism I've often gotten is that I am too blunt & mean, which I think is accurate & should be balanced out by someone else with a softer, kinder style.

But basically, anyone looking for someone to "lead a trans support group" would be wise to consider me wholly inappropriate.

If the group were for "people exploring gender/sex stereotypes" then I'd fit the bill. But in that event, I'd still want to co-lead with someone else. In this case, preferably a gay male.

[–][deleted] 1 insightful - 1 fun1 insightful - 0 fun2 insightful - 1 fun -  (2 children)

😂 Is it wrong your answer had me in stitches? That was exceptionally fabulous, I love your self-awareness, insight and wit! You'd probably make a very effective group leader (or co-leader)

[–]MarkTwainiac 5 insightful - 1 fun5 insightful - 0 fun6 insightful - 1 fun -  (1 child)

No of course it's not wrong. At all. Laughter is the best. I think the human condition is inherently muddled & embarrassing but at the same time totally hilarious. Which points to one of the problems I have with today's cultural climate. Why is it now forbidden to make fun of ideas that are ridiculous & persons who behave in ridiculous ways & espouse ridiculous views?

I was teased & mocked mercilessly as a child for various reasons both within my family & in school & the nabe. But so was everyone else. This helped me develop a sense of humor & resilience.

I'd be very happy to consider joining with you to lead a support group or groups for people exploring "gender identity." I imagine you & I would often lock horns, but so be it - & what's the big deal? People can & do disagree and still be friends. Many of my closest loved ones have views different to my own. Including the persons I gestated & gave birth to.

But if it's a support group for people who've already signed up to & swallowed gender ideology & believe anyone who questions it is a Nazi TERF who deserves disemboweling & death, I am not the woman to lead - or even to participate. After a few minutes of listening to me, half the group would be trying to choke me to death with their girl cocks, & the other half would be running for the exits & charging me with hate crimes.

[–][deleted] 3 insightful - 1 fun3 insightful - 0 fun4 insightful - 1 fun -  (0 children)

I think we'd make a dynamic duo, Mark 😉 at the very least, our group would be interesting and surely thought-provoking--if we played our cards right, our story might end up fictionalized as an "odd couple"-style show with a therapeutic twist! I'd like to think it would make the world a little nicer of a place at least