All: Are there aspects of self-concept or identity that are unchangeable?

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[–]Penultimate_Penance 2 insightful - 1 fun2 insightful - 0 fun3 insightful - 1 fun -  (1 child)

There is research coming out that indicates that people might have different internal clocks that they have to work around that have varying degrees of flexibility, so being a night owl or a morning bird might be built in. Sexual orientation is built in. Tastes seem to also be built in, I like black licorice, I don't know why, I just do. Tastes can change a bit over time especially as people get older, but some of them seem to be pretty consistent & unchangeable. Then there are personality traits like cautiousness, I can force myself to be less cautious, but it is always a battle while other personalities default to recklessness.

With positive feedback loops I can manage my over cautiousness to bring it back to a reasonable level, but it's still there. I think the biggest problem with many trans ideologues & a lot of trans culture is that they are actively encouraging negative feedback loops. Their philosophical outlook on life is extremely defeatist, which is one reason I consider it regressive, not progressive. Hyperfocusing on body dysphoria and feeding into it is not healthy. It creates a negative feedback loop that makes their dysphoria worse, not better.

Real life example: I had dysphoria about my breasts, I never wanted them and they hurt when I engaged in sports, but I didn't ruminate on the dysphoria, I found good bras that worked for me so I could run, jump etc. without pain and now after years of living with them I've pretty much gotten used them. Are they still annoying yes. Do I wish that I did not have them, also yes. Is it worth the cost, and health risks of breast removal to get rid of them for me? No. Do I even think about my breasts from day to day now, nope. The dysphoria is so minor now it might as well not even be there. That's what positive feedback loops can do for people. I don't enjoy menstruation either, but it's easy enough to learn how to manage it and I got used to it over time. I chose to use a form of birth control that stopped the bleeding part of my periods (but the monthly pain is still there, sarcastic yay!), but if I had to switch to having bloody periods again due to a lack access to birth control I wouldn't crumple into a ball of fragility. I have enough positive feedback loops in my life that accepting my body as is and making the best of it doesn't phase me. Even if I got into a tragic accident and became disabled I have enough of a positive outlook on life that I could still live a happy, meaningful and productive life making do with what I got.

If someone can't accept their own body as is and make the best of it that is a serious mental health issue and they really need to focus on implementing positive behavioral feedback loops in their life. I don't believe dysphoria is untreatable or completely built in like sexuality. Dysphoria is largely psychological and can be effectively managed by most people. I believe that dysphoria is a normal part of human life, our bodies change, we get older, things start to hurt that didn't used, sickness and injuries happen. Mentally healthy people fined effective ways to cope with these changes, mentally unhealthy people struggle with it. We'll need further research of course to know for sure, so I'm all for researching the phenomenon of sex dysphoria and comparing it to other types of dysphoria.

One belief system that I ascribe to is that intelligence/talent isn't necessarily 'fixed'. What separates people in academic, professional, athletic achievements in life is their sticktoitiveness and their belief in their ability to learn. Some people are naturally good at certain subjects, but often child geniuses fall behind over time, because they don't consistently put the work in throughout their lives and the students who consistently study hard surpass them despite their initial lack of natural 'talent'. You don't have to be a genius to be a rocket scientist, you just have to put the work in. This gives me a lot of confidence. I believe that I can learn and do anything I put my mind to. It just takes hard consistent, effort. My identity and confidence is rock solid, because I am always working on becoming a better person and I know I can put the work in to do awesome things. Because I've done it before, I know I can do it again. Every time I achieve one of my goals my confidence grows and gives me courage to try the next thing. Boom positive feedback loop. I don't need outside validation. I get to decide what kind of person I am and live my life accordingly. It is really freeing to not rely on outside validation.

That's why 'woman' isn't an identity to me. I am a human being with a female body. The word we have for that state of being is woman. Does having a female body profoundly affect my life? You bet. Does it dictate who I am, or what I can be in the future. Hell no! My identity is based on my principles and moral compass: being reliable, honest, trustworthy, forthright, strong, humorous, a good friend, a good partner, a good citizen, charitable and so on. My identity is also based on what I have accomplished in the past and what I am working on accomplishing in the future. I take pride in my work and it gives my life meaning. No one can 'invalidate' my identity, because my identity is not frivolous or superficial.

Woman gender identity is such a sad superficial sexist defeatist concept. I hate it.

To me moral/principle based identities are true progressiveness. Accepting your body as it is, and making the best of it. Your body is not your fate it is just one part of who you are. You are the captain of your own life and you can be and do awesome things if you are willing to put the work in.

https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC1838571/

[–][deleted] 1 insightful - 1 fun1 insightful - 0 fun2 insightful - 1 fun -  (0 children)

With positive feedback loops I can manage my over cautiousness to bring it back to a reasonable level, but it's still there. I think the biggest problem with many trans ideologues & a lot of trans culture is that they are actively encouraging negative feedback loops. Their philosophical outlook on life is extremely defeatist, which is one reason I consider it regressive, not progressive. Hyperfocusing on body dysphoria and feeding into it is not healthy. It creates a negative feedback loop that makes their dysphoria worse, not better

Based on this and the story you tell of your own experience with dysphoria, it seems like actively avoiding hyperfocusing is what may lead to a more changeable view of any aspect of oneself, one that could be applied to problems with gender dysphoria and maybe even relieve some of it enough to prevent transitioning possibly--am I understanding what you're sayin correctly?

MarkTwainiac brought up an interesting point about the use of hallucinogens in therapy: I did use hallucinogens for a few years specifically to try to cure my own illness (as I saw it) because I discovered ways of thinking and self-conceptualization I had never been able to before. When my focus changed, relief was provided, just because it was no longer at the forefront of my mind. I did find, however, that my behavior didn't necessarily change, just my level of distress. Labels were less important and more fluid or non-existent, but that gave me an illusion that I'd cured myself, only to find myself in a situation that would make me realize that some of those aspects of myself related to my cross-sex behavior and identification had never actually changed, just the way I thought about myself had. Hopefully that makes some sense.

That's why 'woman' isn't an identity to me. I am a human being with a female body. The word we have for that state of being is woman. Does having a female body profoundly affect my life? You bet. Does it dictate who I am, or what I can be in the future. Hell no! My identity is based on my principles and moral compass: being reliable, honest, trustworthy, forthright, strong, humorous, a good friend, a good partner, a good citizen, charitable and so on. My identity is also based on what I have accomplished in the past and what I am working on accomplishing in the future. I take pride in my work and it gives my life meaning. No one can 'invalidate' my identity, because my identity is not frivolous or superficial.

To me moral/principle based identities are true progressiveness. Accepting your body as it is, and making the best of it. Your body is not your fate it is just one part of who you are. You are the captain of your own life and you can be and do awesome things if you are willing to put the work in.

I like this and I agree with your perspective on it. Being a man or a woman is more of a byproduct of reality rather than an identity for most, it seems. Despite being trans, I view being a woman the way that I see myself as a woman not as an identity, but rather as a byproduct of reality--the difference perhaps being that the factors are not just related to biological sex or reproductive anatomy or physiology; the reality isn't as simple or uncomplicated/straightforward from my perspective. If it were more of an identity, I wonder if that would have been or would be easier to change how I view myself in that regard. The person who I am is likely informed partially by those realities though, but who I see myself being is based more on my actions and beliefs and aspirations, as it seems to be for you, too.

Woman gender identity is such a sad superficial sexist defeatist concept. I hate it.

I've kind of come to reject the idea of gender identity, or at least that it's some immutable, unchangeable characteristic. A gender identity seems limiting to one's personality, life and human spirit. It keeps people oppressed and repressed, and disallows us from expanding and growing in a certain regard. Like Houseplant and MarkTwainiac were saying, perhaps some people cling to it in desperation of filling some sort of void in their own lives, whatever the reason may be.

I like the paper you shared, thank you! The concept reminded me of the theory behind positive psychology, as well as the idea of manifestation. My self-defense instructor tells me to practice doing certain techniques by just envisioning myself doing them because science shows that we can actually learn and get better at things even by doing that--this seems to track with that idea!