GC: Is sexual attraction only based on genitals, or is there more to sexual attraction (e.g. attraction to secondary sexual characteristics, "femininity", "masculinity", etc)?

submitted by Not_a_celebrity from self.GCdebatesQT

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[–]Not_a_celebrity[S] 2 insightful - 1 fun2 insightful - 0 fun3 insightful - 1 fun -  (4 children)

But if he was always with females, and is now with a male, isn't he a bisexual that doesn't want to accept he's not "straight"? Is a man that is with a "trans woman" really "straight"? Would it even make sense for a man that was always with females to get into a gay relationship and say he's still "straight"? 🙃 If not bi, then should we call him a fetishist?

[–]peakingatthemomentTranssexual (natal male), HSTS 4 insightful - 2 fun4 insightful - 1 fun5 insightful - 2 fun -  (3 children)

Maybe. I’m not going to try to convince him though, lol. I don’t think in a million years he could have been with a TW with a penis, so I feel like that gives him some straight points at least. I don’t go out of my way to remind him I am male though or anything like that and he doesn’t think of me that way.

[–]Not_a_celebrity[S] 3 insightful - 1 fun3 insightful - 0 fun4 insightful - 1 fun -  (2 children)

So you're helping deceiving him that he's with a woman? I think he's homophobic. It's like Blaire White's husband. He thinks he's with a "woman", but he's with a man. He just doesn't want to accept he's not "straight". Blaire White doesn't remind him he's in a gay relationship either, he thinks he's a "woman" in a "straight relationships". Your husband too doesn't think of you that way, which means he's deceiving himself. He doesn't want to accept he's with a man. A man that has no penis. A man without a penis is still a man. And a man that is in a relationship with a man without a penis isn't more "straight" or less "gay" just because his partner doesn't have a penis 🤔

I think it's best to remind him, and burst that bubble. It's worse to help lie to him and make him go to that grave all the while thinking he's "straight" just because his male partner removed his penis, wears dresses, etc.

[–]peakingatthemomentTranssexual (natal male), HSTS 4 insightful - 2 fun4 insightful - 1 fun5 insightful - 2 fun -  (1 child)

I think it's best to remind him, and burst that bubble. It's worse to help lie to him and make him go to that grave all the while thinking he's "straight" just because his male partner removed his penis, wears dresses, etc.

I feel like he’s fully aware of our situation. He just sees me how he sees me and likewise with himself. I don’t think I can “burst that bubble.” I’m just me and am not trying to support any type of lie. We totally aren’t homophobic either.

[–]Not_a_celebrity[S] 3 insightful - 1 fun3 insightful - 0 fun4 insightful - 1 fun -  (0 children)

If he's aware of your situation, it makes no sense for him to think of you as a woman, or not think of you as a man. But you said you don't want him or others to think of you as the man you are, which means you are supporting a lie: https://imgur.com/YDd1Hah

I wouldn't want him to see me as a man, and it's not how I usually think of myself or how people see me in the world

You not only don't want your husband to realize you are a man, but also made other people think you're a woman. You want people to either believe a lie or lie to you even if they know the truth.

You both are homophobic, not in a "gay is eww" way conservatives directly tell us. In a TQ way of "I don't want to be seen as a man" which means you want to erase yourself and your identity as a man in a gay relationship and want to be seen as a "woman in a straight relationship". Your husband also tries to lie to himself that he's not with a man, but a woman, and supposedly is in a "straight relationship". This is homophobic.