“If using a bathroom for someone's target sex is violating a boundary though then almost all trans people have crossed a boundary”

Imo it is. I don’t think it matters what gc focuses on, it’s a boundary that is crossed regardless of who and why. I wasn’t even thinking of anything bad that could happen, I just think females deserve male free spaces.

As for the mental health part- I think a transitioned person can be healthier than before, perhaps. You seem to be. But would you be if something happened and you couldn’t take your hormones? Would you be if you were outed? (Again not you specifically just generally). To me, a part of truly being healthy would be being okay with being known as trans. I get that there are situations where you may not be safe? But I think generally, a healthy person can be fully upfront and honest about themselves, and can accept when people don’t accept them. I’m thinking of our last discussion when we talked about whether or not you’d tell your friends and others close to you- to me, a mentally healthy trans person would be comfortable with people around them knowing, because they fully accept themselves. I have a headache so I can’t word things well today and it’s super frustrating, sorry.

Re adoption comments- I think open adoption is much more common today and even if it’s not open, birth parents could easily use social media to see their bio kids and the adoptive parents. So to me, it’s not worth the risk to hide being trans or gay. I think someone being homophobic and not wanting a gay couple to adopt their kids is shitty (being gay is not a mental condition), but if they’re super religious or something then they have a right to place their kid with a hetero couple. But the difference is that a gay couple would be an openly gay couple looking to adopt. If you aren’t open about being trans (at least with the adoption stuff) you could be withholding information that would make a huge difference to the bio parents. And I think there are plenty of people willing to- perhaps even seeking to- allow a trans person (and their partner if applicable) adopt. There’s no need to withhold info when there are people who wouldn’t exclude you.

• I think transition to alleviate dysphoria isn’t inherently sexist, but I think the concept of transition (from the doctors/surgeons- not the patients) is entirely based on sexism and homophobia. I don’t blame trans people for wanting to transition since it’s an option- and the only option that could give them what they want- but I think the root of its intent was not to help people- it was to have less gnc/gay people, in theory. So I think it’s a situation where the origins are sexist and homophobic, but it’s been pushed as “the treatment”, so I get why genuinely dysphoric individuals want it. I personally think that aside from rare cases, it causes more harm than good to the person transitioning, and I fear the long term effects of cross sex hormones. Idk if that even answered your question lol

I agree with your last paragraph! As I said, I think you’d make a great parent and I do hope that you’re able to adopt. I respect that you’ll be honest with your kid(s) and I think if/when you disclose being trans to a potential bio mom, if she had any questions or concerns your responses would assuage them.