Ami

Thank you for responding, I went into my old discord-specific email and saw some recent notifications from discord that might have to do with the pinkpill site but I’m not sure. I looked back and there were no other emails in forever from discord, so idk what else it could be. I will have to get the app again and check. I had issues on there too but it seemed like a different crowd versus the main sub on the site back then, now things might have changed temporarily if everyone else had nowhere else to go.

(I’m sorry your account was banned, by discord itself or the community? I didn’t realize you were not liked among the community either..jeez, I don’t pick up on that sort of thing too well. And I, myself, can be rather argumentative, but I usually still engage with people I have disagreed with, so long as they’re not trying to invalidate this overall experience.)

I guess I’m flabbergasted that anybody could just “go on with their lives” when it comes to this issue, I certainly can’t. It affects everything. Nothing about my physical situation has changed or can change and thus the consequences have not let up either. I am too old to deal with this shit any longer. I’m done, but still would like to talk with people who can relate during my final moments in this hellscape.

Hmm, I am not sure I would jive with the FA subreddit (beyond a select post or two), Reddit is horrible for these types of issues in general, insanely hypocritical and hostile. As you probably know, despite the ‘trufem’ term I’m also not exactly interested in the emphasis on the lack of romantic/sexual relationships, which I think FA leans more into. Of course it’s a valid part of the problem, but I’d rather talk about the bigger picture and other details about Lookism and being forced to identify with an appearance we had no say in, or no say to undo.
It just goes so far beyond being ‘forever alone’..unless I am misinterpreting the sub’s purpose. (I guess I AM still forever alone in all the other ways that count..so maybe I’ll check the sub out again to see if there’s anything worth reading, I just hate commenting on Reddit.)

Kiwifarms!? The gossip site!? Is that genuinely some place those from the sub would want to congregate to!?
All they do is make fun of people’s looks and justify tearing down “public figures” who clearly have enough problems and humiliation without someone commenting on their every move.
Hell, I have not gone there except to see what it was all about, years ago. I hate that place. I can’t imagine why any unattractive woman would want to step foot in there…unless they want a chance to dish out similarly unsavory sentiments that they had handed to them. I don’t get it. Unless there is a faction of it that I am completely unaware of..

My brain has been disintegrating too, but I don’t hold that against anyone, I know how it is, I can read between the lines. Don’t worry.
Where you are coming from still makes sense to me and I really needed to see SOMEONE commenting SOMETHING after no longer being able to access the site. You provided that (& more) and I thank you very much for it.

This situation makes us all sound like lunatics or morons at some point, it’s not healthy to have to deal with this situation, not at all. Only those who have gone through it can understand. I feel the same about my own writing being word salad at times, I think vCard mentioned she worried about the same thing..most of us only type on keyboards and don’t speak to many people so it makes sense that we can’t verbalize in a coherent manner when we are mostly stuck inside our own heads, of no fault of our own.

And yea, we do repeat ourselves a lot, don’t we lol, I know I do. But what else is there to do but repeat ourselves when life is still the same nightmare, perhaps only becoming progressively worse. Same shit, different day..and nobody listens, hence our becoming a broken record.

Thank you for the nice comment about reading my own words too..yea I’m always so tired..so so tired, I would mostly comment and never post. (This “slump” is a lifelong, uncontrollable spiral into the abyss, my suffering needs to be over soon.) I like to stay under the radar and do better when I can bounce off others’ statements.

Yes, it really is a form of catharsis to know there are other people who know what you’re going through. That’s why I want the site to come back. I only stayed on the trufem and lookism subs because the rest of the site became another animal at times, but I miss even that much. It was much more than I will get anywhere else. I am so incredibly angry that this topic cannot be discussed appropriately and honestly most other places, when it absolutely should be.
I can’t believe how lonely and alienating this existence is, on top of already being so miserable and torturous.. Complaints about other aspects of the human condition are at least less censored. Yet it is somehow taboo to speak plainly about the straight up obvious. The elephant in the room. I’m sick of it.