I wish I could find a woman friend who doesn't want to fuck me
submitted 2 years ago by [deleted] from (self.whatever)
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[–]hennaojichan 3 insightful - 6 fun3 insightful - 5 fun4 insightful - 5 fun4 insightful - 6 fun - 2 years ago* (14 children)
I used to be friends with a girl like that, but once in a while she would give me vodka...some pills, and I'd wake up not knowing what happened. Then, I'd begin to realize she had taken advantage of me...but she'd force me to take more pills and vodka so soon I wouldn't know where the hell I was. I wonder what happened to her.
[–][deleted] 2 insightful - 5 fun2 insightful - 4 fun3 insightful - 4 fun3 insightful - 5 fun - 2 years ago (13 children)
Did we have the same ex gf?
[–]hennaojichan 3 insightful - 5 fun3 insightful - 4 fun4 insightful - 4 fun4 insightful - 5 fun - 2 years ago (0 children)
I think so. She really got around.
[–]Noam_Chomsky 2 insightful - 2 fun2 insightful - 1 fun3 insightful - 1 fun3 insightful - 2 fun - 2 years ago (11 children)
I'd begin to realize she had taken advantage of me...but then she'd force me to take more pills and vodka
Did she discover pills and vodka were like spinach for your Popeye?
[–][deleted] 1 insightful - 3 fun1 insightful - 2 fun2 insightful - 2 fun2 insightful - 3 fun - 2 years ago (10 children)
My ex fucked me when I was passed out. I wouldn't really mind except I was with someone else. Also, I was 17 and she was 36 but that's legal here.
[–]Noam_Chomsky 3 insightful - 1 fun3 insightful - 0 fun4 insightful - 0 fun4 insightful - 1 fun - 2 years ago (9 children)
My ex fucked me when I was passed out.
Wat?
I can only come up with a few plausible ways this could happen.
An alcohol-induced topor compelled you to rigorously and repeatably pantomime the spelling the alphabet? (Possible.)
Your ex could be described as a modern 'woman'; with a pud... (Possible... Tragically...)
I was 17 and she was 36 but that's legal here.
You were an elite nocturnal ejaculator, with the stamina of a clydesdale. (Plausible, LEGENDARY)
You had an inflatable penile prosthetic. (Plausible, Legend... ary/Tragic?, Certainly tragic)
That's it for possibilities.
Alternative scenarios are inconceivable, and are therefore beyond consideration.
Regardless of the truth. You should stick to the third possibility.
[–][deleted] 3 insightful - 1 fun3 insightful - 0 fun4 insightful - 0 fun4 insightful - 1 fun - 2 years ago (8 children)
As much as I want to go with the legendary option, I think it was just morning wood she took advantage of for a bit till it woke me up.
[–]Noam_Chomsky 3 insightful - 1 fun3 insightful - 0 fun4 insightful - 0 fun4 insightful - 1 fun - 2 years ago (7 children)
I think it was just morning wood
I was thinking you might shatter our perceptions of you, and confess that you were pegged.
Jk bro! ;-)
[–][deleted] 4 insightful - 4 fun4 insightful - 3 fun5 insightful - 3 fun5 insightful - 4 fun - 2 years ago (6 children)
I'm saving my asshole for prison.
[–][deleted] 2 insightful - 3 fun2 insightful - 2 fun3 insightful - 2 fun3 insightful - 3 fun - 2 years ago (5 children)
NO PORN ALLOWED.
[–]Noam_Chomsky 2 insightful - 3 fun2 insightful - 2 fun3 insightful - 2 fun3 insightful - 3 fun - 2 years ago (4 children)
You're probably not saving yours.
use the following search parameters to narrow your results:
e.g. sub:pics site:imgur.com dog
sub:pics site:imgur.com dog
advanced search: by author, sub...
~4 users here now
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[–]hennaojichan 3 insightful - 6 fun3 insightful - 5 fun4 insightful - 5 fun4 insightful - 6 fun - (14 children)
[–][deleted] 2 insightful - 5 fun2 insightful - 4 fun3 insightful - 4 fun3 insightful - 5 fun - (13 children)
[–]hennaojichan 3 insightful - 5 fun3 insightful - 4 fun4 insightful - 4 fun4 insightful - 5 fun - (0 children)
[–]Noam_Chomsky 2 insightful - 2 fun2 insightful - 1 fun3 insightful - 1 fun3 insightful - 2 fun - (11 children)
[–][deleted] 1 insightful - 3 fun1 insightful - 2 fun2 insightful - 2 fun2 insightful - 3 fun - (10 children)
[–]Noam_Chomsky 3 insightful - 1 fun3 insightful - 0 fun4 insightful - 0 fun4 insightful - 1 fun - (9 children)
[–][deleted] 3 insightful - 1 fun3 insightful - 0 fun4 insightful - 0 fun4 insightful - 1 fun - (8 children)
[–]Noam_Chomsky 3 insightful - 1 fun3 insightful - 0 fun4 insightful - 0 fun4 insightful - 1 fun - (7 children)
[–][deleted] 4 insightful - 4 fun4 insightful - 3 fun5 insightful - 3 fun5 insightful - 4 fun - (6 children)
[–][deleted] 2 insightful - 3 fun2 insightful - 2 fun3 insightful - 2 fun3 insightful - 3 fun - (5 children)
[–]Noam_Chomsky 2 insightful - 3 fun2 insightful - 2 fun3 insightful - 2 fun3 insightful - 3 fun - (4 children)