Every time my wife leaves people think I'm gonna self destruct

submitted by [deleted] from (self.whatever)

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[–][deleted] 3 insightful - 3 fun3 insightful - 2 fun4 insightful - 3 fun -  (1 child)

Alright, jive turkey, time to celebrate your freedom and do something fun. Put the bottle down and enjoy a video game, or a movie, go bowling, or try mini-golf, or a bit of karaoke or darts or pool at the local pub (and a tall Coke), or call someone, or do whatever you want (except drink). Perhaps head to the nearest mega grocery and get Haagen Daz, and help old ladies cross the street. Get some of those 'freedom fries' you have in the US. Head to the park and walk around, enjoy a cigar. Go to an archery range. Perhaps visit an AA meeting in the area this evening. I don't know. Just some random thoughts. Best wishes whilst the wife is away.

[–][deleted] 2 insightful - 2 fun2 insightful - 1 fun3 insightful - 2 fun -  (0 children)

Put the bottle down

It's empty now so... Ok.

I can't go out Socks, women throw themselves at me. I'm trying to swear off other people's women.

Haagen Daz

Gross. If you're ever in the area try HEB's store brand ice cream. It's really really good.

Good suggestions though, a cigar does sound nice. Maybe with weed. A blunt it is!